


Paint Your Palette Blue and Grey

by ziammehome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Paint Sex, Zayn teaching Liam how to smoke, artist!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-08 06:56:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziammehome/pseuds/ziammehome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is in over his head in art class, but gets paired with artist Zayn for the semester project. Zayn decides to draw Liam, but he never expected to fall in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Liam sighed as he checked the number on his paper, making sure he was in the right place for his first class. He wandered into the lecture hall, briefly scanning the seats before wandering into the back row and settling in there. He had heard this class was an easy A, and just hoped to get through the semester unscathed. As he was waiting for class to start, his eyes caught another boy entering the classroom. He was slim with a jet black quiff, and tattoos covering the tan skin of one of his arms. And he was hot. Liam watched him as he climbed the stairs of the auditorium, admiring the way his body moved when he walked. Not wanting to get caught staring, Liam brought his eyes down to his lap, trying not to notice when the boy took a seat on the other side of his row. He snuck a few more looks out of the corner of his eye, watching as the boy brought a notebook from his backpack and began scribbling on one of the pages. Before Liam had a chance to keep watching, however, the instructor appeared at the front of the class, clearing his throat to get their attention. 

"My name is Professor Williams, and welcome to Languages of Creativity!" he said, a small man with thinning hair and a garish neck tie. Liam tried not to snort at the name of the class, it sounded a bit rubbish to him. He was only taking this class for his Arts requirement, it wasn't exactly his style but he was trying to be open minded. A little art never hurt anyone, right? Just a few more credits, and he would be graduated and gone, a job already secured for him at his father's company in London. The professor began to describe the course, Liam half paying attention as textbooks and final essays were mentioned. He tuned back in just in time to hear the professor say "However, the first half of the semester will be spent working on a project. You will be assigned a partner, and the two of you must get to know each other and create a piece of art together. The medium does not matter, writing, photography, music, anything. In fact, the more creative the medium, the better! The only requirements are that it be an original piece of art, and that it gives us an idea of who you two are." Liam groaned internally. Art definitely wasn't his thing. When he signed up for this class, he expected to learn about the "languages of creativity" (whatever that meant,) not actually use them. The professor continued, "As an incentive for you all to put your best efforts into this project, I also have a little prize for you. If you get an A on the project, I will wave the final exam. Meaning, if you do well on this project, you do not have to take a final." That perked Liam up again, the idea of one less final during exam week was appealing, especially in a class like this where he suspected the curriculum wasn't exactly his forte. 

"So, let's get you divided up into partners! I'm going to pass this bowl around, and I want each of you to take a strip of paper. On it, you will either find a famous work or a famous artist, and you must find your other half. If you get Van Goh, you must find your Starry night. If you get the David, you must find your Michelangelo! This is not only to divide you up, but a little course in history as well," the professor said with a chuckle, clearly pleased with his cleverness. The bowl came around, and Liam grabbed a paper out before handing it to the next row. He uncrumpld it and read "The Rite of Spring." Great, he thought to himself, groaning. He didn't even known if that was a painting or a book or what, how was he supposed to find whoever the hell made it? He sat puzzling for a few more moments, looking around the classroom as people began to wander around and pair off. He was contemplating getting out his laptop and just googling whatever the hell this was, when he felt someone approach him. He looked up to see the boy from before, standing over him. He looked even better up close, especially with the small smirk he was sporting now. "What's on your paper?" the boy asked casually, and Liam tried not to sound to flustered when he answered, "Um..the Rite of Spring?" "Great!" the boy answered, "I have Stravinsky." "Does that go with mine?" Liam asked, suddenly feeling rather out of place in this class. "Yes it does," the boy said with a laugh, taking the seat beside Liam. "Its a piece of music, Stravisnky wrote it," he smiled as he continued. Liam felt like a complete idiot. "Oh right..." he trailed off. "I'm Zayn," the other boy said, offering a hand, which Liam took. "I take it you aren't very into art?" Zayn asked, smiling amusedly at Liam, and Liam couldn't help but notice his eyes, soft and brown and captivating. "Im Liam," he returned, pulling his eyes away from Zayn's, "and no, not really. I'm a business major, I'm really only taking this for my art credit..." Liam was sure he was making a terrible impression, but Zayn just smiled in return. "Are you an art major?" he asked Zayn, hoping to change the subject from his obvious incompetence. "Yeah, double majoring in Art and English," Zayn replied. Liam nodded, even more sure that he looked like a complete idiot. They only had time to exchange a few more pleasantries before the bell rang, signaling the end of class. "Well, we should probably get together to talk about the project," Zayn said, getting up and slinging his backpack over his shoulder nonchalantly. "Are you free this afternoon?" "Uh, yeah," Liam answered, "I get out of class at 3, then I'm free for the rest of the day." "Cool," Zayn replied, "Wanna grab coffee or something? At the place near campus?" "Yeah, yeah, that would be great." Liam nodded, grabbing his stuff. Saying a quick goodbye, Liam exited the hall, wanting to get out before he made a bigger fool of himself, and leaving a bemused Zayn behind him. 

 

Zayn shook his head as he walked out, amused at Liam's behavior. The tall boy with light brown hair had looked so confused sitting there with his strip of paper, his eyes wandering around the room. Zayn chuckled to himself, remember Liam's puzzled expression when he asked Zayn about Stravinsky. It was pretty apparent that he had no idea what he was doing in this class, but it was kind of charming. He was sure Liam wasn't the only one, since the class covered a required credit there would probably be a lot of students from other majors. But Liam seemed embarrassed that he was unfamiliar with everything, and Zayn resolved not to make him feel bad about it when they met for coffee. It wasn't a very hard class, and its not like Zayn couldn't handle most of the project by himself anyway. He thought about it has he walked home, and tried not to remember the way Liam's arms had looked when he swung his backpack over his shoulder, or the way his t shirt had pulled across his broad shoulders.

When he opened the door to the flat, he was met with the strong smell of paint. He pulled the neck of his shirt over his face and wandered into the living room to find the walls painted a bright crimson red. His roommate Harry stood shirtless, holding a paintbrush and admiring his work, flecks of red paint covering his chest and back. Harry was a musician, working part time at a record store while he tried to establish himself. He mostly played at bars and coffee shops, but he resorted to playing on the street sometimes too. Harry was a bit eccentric, but he and Zayn had always gotten on well. Harry was sweet and vibrant, a good contrast to Zayn's quiet, sometimes brooding moods. They'd been friends since high school, and except for a drunken make out at a graduation party, had always stayed platonic. "What the hell happened here?" Zayn asked, making his way towards Harry across the plastic covered carpet and around hastily moved furniture. "Zayn!" Harry exclaimed, turning around. "Isn't this a great color?" He asked spreading his arms and gesturing to the walls. "Uh, yeah it is Harry, but why the hell did you decide to paint the living room red?" "Oh! Well, I saw it in a magazine and I had some free time, so..." he trailed off, shrugging. "A magazine?" Zayn asked, puzzled. "Um yeah, an interior design magazine! You know, where they show houses and gardens and furniture and things." Harry explained, looking around the room before finding what he was looking for balanced on the edge of the sofa. He handed Zayn a thick magazine, and Zayn flipped through before looking back up at Harry with a smirk. "Why on earth do you even have this Harry?" he asked. "Well, I was at the grocery store, and it was right by the check out and it looked a bit interesting so I picked it up an started flipping through..." Harry prattled on about buying the magazine, seeing the red painted room and buying paint at the hardware store. Zayn was laughing before he finished, he loved Harry but he was a bit strange sometimes. "Alright mate," Zayn said, clasping him on the shoulder, "it looks nice, but make sure you clean everything up...and open some windows before we both asphyxiate." Harry nodded before turning back to admiring his handywork. 

Zayn walked to his room, throwing his bag on the floor and flopping onto his bed. His eyes scanned the walls, taking in the hastily hung drawings and sketches, making a note to get around to organizing everything later. He settled down to work on an essay for his Russian Lit class, but he was having a hard time focusing. Zayn checked his watch and decided to abandon his essay for now, as it was almost time for him to meet Liam at the coffee shop anyway. He headed to the bathroom and ran a quick comb through his hair, making sure his quiff was in place. He glanced at himself in the mirror, taking inventory. He was wearing a plaid shirt unbottoned over a white long sleeve t shirt, with light wash jeans and high tops. His jeans were flecked with paint from his last art project, but other than that he looked presentable. He shook his head, reminded himself that Liam had already seen him today, and wonderedwhy he was trying to impress him in the first place. He brushed off the thought, grabbing his bag and leaving the flat. He contemplted taking his car, but opted to walk instead since the weather was nice. He soon regretted that decision however, as the sky clouded over and large raindrops began to fall when he was halfway there. He picked up the pace, half jogging the remainder of the way to the coffee shop. He was soaked by the time he got there, hurriedly stepping under the canopy outside. He entered, causing a quiet ding from the bell above the door, and scanned the tables for Liam. 

 

Liam's head snapped up when he heard the bell, and his eyes fell on Zayn, who had just come in. He was soaked through from the rain, and Liam silently cursed the fact that it only made him look better. His quiff was falling down over his forehead, and his clothes clung to his body suggestively. He watched Zayn's eyes pan the room, before falling on Liam, sitting by a window. Liam raised his hand in a hesitant wave, which was returned with a nod from Zayn, who started making his way over to the table. "Looks like you got a bit caught in the rain," Liam said with a smile as Zayn sat down, running his hands through his wet hair. "Just a little," Zayn said with chagrin, slipping out of his wet plaid shirt, exposing the white t shirt underneath. Liam's eyes fell to the wet t shirt clinging to Zayn's skin, he could see a few more tattoos through the wet fabric. He hastily tore his eyes away, not wanting his ogling to be noticed. "I, uh, would have gotten you coffee but I didn't know what you want.." he said apoligetically to Zayn. "Don't worry about it, mate," Zayn said, dismissing the apology with a wave of his hand. He got up to order, and Liam noticed him shiver slightly, no doubt due to his wet clothing. "Here," said Liam, shrugging out of his dark green zip up. He had arrived before the torrent had started, so his clothes were dry. He could see Zayn hesitate before taking the jacket. "Really," Liam continued, "I'm not cold, and you look like you just climbed out of a swimming pool." Zayn smiled shyly at that, but took the jacket and slipped it over his wet shirt. Liam watched as Zayn approached the counter and ordered. He missed the sheerness the t shirt had offered, but he also liked the way Zayn looked in his jacket. He shook his head, reminding himself that he probably shouldn't keep checking out his partner for this project. He probably isn't even gay he thought to himself. And even if he were....he could probably get people a lot more attractive and cooler and more artsy than Liam so he shouldn't even bother, right? 

Liam was still battling with himself when Zayn returned with a steaming cup of coffee. "Alright," he said, sitting back down, "we should probably talk about the project. Do you have any ideas?" Liam shifted awkwardly, "Um, not really. I mean, like I said, I don't really know much about art...or creativity...or whatever." He trailed off uncomfortably. Zayn smiled, "That's alright, I'm sure we can figure something out. You really don't have to feel bad, or like you're a bad partner or anything. It will be kind of fun, I can show you the ropes a little bit. Cool?" Liam was surprised, Zayn had been nothing but nice so far, but he hadn't expected him to pick up on Liam's feelings so easily, or to be able to assuage his fears. "Thanks," said Liam, visibly relieved. He smiled at Zayn, who smiled easily back. Liam noticed a woman behind Zayn, standing at a chairless table and looking around the room a bit awkwardly, presumably looking for an unused chair. Zayn followed his eyes, turning around to look at the woman. "Oh, here," said Zayn, standing up and dragging his chair to the empty table, offering it to the woman. She thanked him, and Zayn returned to the table, this time sitting on the bench on Liam's side of the table. "I hope this is okay," Zayn said quietly to Liam. Liam just nodded, taken aback by Zayn's sudden closeness. Then Zayn started talking again, sharing some of his ideas for the project. Liam was entranced by the way Zayn talked about art, he could tell he really loved it. His already gorgeous eyes grew even more enticing, and his hands moved in emphatic gestures while he talked, leaning in closer to Liam. Liam couldn't help but smile at Zayn's passion, and Zayn smiled back, quieting. "Sorry," he said a bit abashedly, "I was probably rambling, I tend to do that" "No, no, its fine," said Liam, "I liked hearing about it." And then they were just looking at each other, their faces close in a suddenly quiet moment. And something about the rain right outside and the closeness of the small shop and the way their eyes were locked on each other made Liam lean forward slightly. Zayn stayed still but closed his eyes as Liam leaned in, and they were only breaths away from each other when Liam suddenly leaned back, clearing his throat. His face was red as he stammered "I should probably, uh, go.. um, do you want a ride home..since its still raining" he asked a bit awkwardly, mortified that he had just tried to kiss a boy who was probably straight and probably thought he was an idiot anyway. Zayn blinked, surprised by the sudden change in mood. He agreed to a ride and the two left the cafe, both confused by what had happened but too bashful to discuss it, or even acknowledge it on Liam's part. When Liam pulled up at Zayn's flat, Zayn slipped off Liam's jacket, thanking him for it with a smile. He could tell Liam was embarrassed by what happened, but he didn't want to push anything. He exited the car and went inside, and as Liam drove away he tried not to notice the way his jacket now smelled like rain and cigarette smoke and something else that made his head spin a little with thoughts of their almost kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

Liam arrived back at his flat, still shaken from the...incident at the cafe. He unlocked the door and entered the flat, and was greeted almost immediately by the voice of his roommate, Louis, from the kitchen. "Oh Thank God" Louis shouted, "I thought you'd never get home!" Louis sounded distressed, so Liam dumped his stuff on the couch and headed for the kitchen to investigate. He was met with the sight of Louis desperately trying to control a boiling-over pot, and smoke escaping for a half open oven. "Louis, what the hell?" he scolded, shoving Louis aside and turning off the oven and stove, trying to control the chaos his roommate had created. "You weren't home and I was so hungry so I decided to try and make dinner and..." he trailed off, as if it were Liam's fault for not being around to stop him. Liam sighed. It probably was his fault, living with Louis was sometimes a full time babysitting job. They had met freshman year when they were randomly assigned to be dorm mates, and had lived together ever since. Louis was a terrible roommate on paper (untidy, irresponsible, clearly a terror in the kitchen) but he was great in all the ways that really mattered, and Liam wouldn't have it any other way. Liam continued tidying the kitchen, and throwing out the mass of burnt something Louis had created in the oven.

It wasn't until Liam was mostly finished cleaning and beginning to make a proper dinner that Louis noticed the stiffness in Liam's demeanor. "What's up with you?" Louis asked, nosy as always. "Nothing," Liam said dismissively, returning his attention to gathering ingredients. "You know you're a terrible liar," Louis countered, and Liam knew he was right. Especially with Louis, Liam was an open book. And Louis was a surprisingly good confident; he was exuberant, but could be serious when it mattered. "What happened?" Louis whined, "Did you meet someone?" "No!" Liam said a little too defensively, and Louis knew he had guessed right when he saw Liam's reaction. "Oh my god, you did!" Liam groaned, knowing he couldn't keep it a secret now. "It's nothing," he answered, busying himself draining pasta, "I just got assigned a partner for a project, and we just met up for coffee." He tried to sound nonchalant, but something told him his efforts were in vain. "Is he hot?" Louis asks, knowingly. Liam contemplated brushing it off, but just ended up sighing instead. "Yeah," he answered resignedly, running a hand through his short hair, "he's pretty hot." "I knew it," Louis practically squealed, pulling himself onto the counter next to Liam. "Did you sleep with him? Are you going to? Is there sexual tension?" Louis asked eagerly. "No I did not sleep with him, and I don't even know if he's gay," Liam answered, finishing dinner and carrying it to the table. "But I almost..." he trailed off, almost immediately regretting saying anything when Louis bounded over. "You almost what?" he urged, excitedly. "I almost...kissed him. It was terrible, he probably hates me now." Liam answered dejectedly with a little embarrassment. "Did he...almost kiss you too?" Louis asked. He was a pain sometimes, but he knew Liam well enough to ask the right questions. "No, I mean, he didn't move away or anything, but poor boy was probably too shocked to move or something," Liam answered. "You should have just gone for it!" Louis cried, "whats the worst that could have happened?" he asked. "Hmm, I could have spent a whole semester working on a project with someone who hates me and thinks I'm a weirdo? You're right, that's not bad at all." Liam answered sarcastically, but he knew Louis' heart was in the right place. Louis loved being single, he was great at parties and bars and frequently came home covered in love bites Liam didn't care to ask about. But Liam was different, he liked closeness, he liked relationships. Since things had ended poorly with Liam's ex a few months ago, Louis had been trying to get him back out there, but Liam was wary. He fell easily, and drunken hook ups had never really made him happy. 

After dinner, Liam sequestered himself in his room with a mountain of homework. He sighed, settling in at his desk and opening a management textbook. He shook his head after just a few minutes of reading, unable to focus. It's not that regretted becoming a business major, and he was pretty good in all his classes, but it was just a filler. He was just getting a degree that was fairly useful before heading off to work for his father's company. He remembered Zayn talking about art earlier, they way his eyes started to shine and his body came alive and his brain was going faster than his mouth could keep up with. It was mesmerising, and not just because it made him even more attractive. Seeing someone love something that much was irresistible and a little bit disheartening for Liam. He wondered if he had ever loved anything as much as Zayn loves art. He shut his textbook and resigned himself to a night of being unproductive, already knowing homework wasn't working out. He absentmindedly flipped through some comic books, before settling on an old Batman to read. He flopped onto his bed, curling up with the comic book. He was soon consumed in the story, even though he had read it dozens of times. When he finally finished, he switched off the light and snuggled beneath the blanket. He laid awake, his mind reluctantly drifting to Zayn and the way his eyes lit up and the way he looked in the gray light of the rainy day. He eventually drifted off, his mind swimming with images of the dark haired boy and the thought that he was in way over his head. 

 

Harry was at a gig when Zayn had arrived home last night, so he didn't see his roommate until breakfast the next morning. Harry wandered into the kitchen in his boxers as Zayn sat at the kitchen table, smoking and catching up on his Hemingway. "Aye, how was your gig last night?" Zayn asked, as Harry shuffled around the kitchen, gathering the necessary ingredients for cold cereal. "It was good," Harry replied with a yawn, "some girl threw her bra on stage though." Zayn chuckled at the idea, and had returned to his novel when Harry piped up again. "How was your evening? You worked on some project, right?" he asked Zayn, joining him at the table. "Yeah, I met with the bloke for some coffee, talked about the project a little bit..." Zayn answered, unsure of how to phrase whatever else had gone on. "Is that all?" Harry asked, knowing Zayn well enough to sense the unsaid question mark at the end of his answer. Zayn took a long, contemplative drag before answering. "I think he might have tried to kiss me...we were talking and I thought he was going to but then he pulled away. Then he got all awkward and left." "Is he gay?" Harry asked, smirking at the story. "No idea," Zayn answered. "He's pretty fit though," Zayn admitted a moment later, after blowing a long stream of smoke from his mouth. Harry laughed at his response. "Sounds like an interesting project you've got going on then," he said to Zayn with a wink. After that, Harry drifted into silence, his attention occupied by the back of a cereal box, leaving Zayn to thoughts last night, and what it meant. 

After breakfast, Zayn hopped in the shower and got ready for the day. He messed with his hair a bit in the mirror, and tugged a black t shirt over his head. Too lazy to put his contacts in, he opted to wear his glasses for the day. He sometimes liked wearing the chunky frames, it was a nice change of pace and gave his eyes a rest from contacts. He had decided on walking to campus, but changed his mind when he remembered getting caught in the sudden downpour last night. Instead, he fished his car keys out of his bag, and headed towards the parking lot. His car wasn't much, a bit beat up in places, and he didn't think the smell of smoke would ever come out. But he had grown fond of it over the years, and at least it always ran. On his way to campus, he remembered that since the art project took up the whole first half of the semester, they didn't actually have lecture for the first few months. This left Zayn with a free hour between classes and nothing to do with it. He thought about the fact that they hadn't actually made much progress on their project last night, and considered asking Liam to meet during their free hour. Amidst the post almost-kiss awkwardness, they had least had the presence of mind to exchange numbers, knowing they would have to meet again soon. But Liam had seemed tense after their...encounter, and he didn't want things to be awkward. He wasn't especially bothered by their spontaneous moment of intimacy, but he had never been one to put a lot of thought into things like that; he preferred to go where the moment took him. And that moment had felt pretty....right. But, he reminded himself, Liam had probably done the right thing. Snogging your partner for a group project right off wasn't exactly a recipe for smooth sailing through the semester. After a few more moments of debate, Zayn shot Liam a quick text. 

Hey its Zayn. Wanna meet at 11 today to work on the paper? On the lawn south of the library?

He almost absent-mindedly ended the text with his usual "xx," but under the circumstances he figured it was probably better without it. He hoped Liam wouldn't object to the location, but Zayn liked being outside, and the clear sky seemed to be holding. A few minutes later, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Fishing it out, he opened it to find Liam's reply. 

Sure, see you then. - Liam

Zayn couldn't tell if it was a bit curt or not, it was always hard to tell in text messages. But regardless, he was glad they were able to meet up again, hopefully actually making progress on the project this time. Zayn headed off to his first class, and tried unsuccessfully to quell the nervous tingle that had appeared in his stomach at the prospect of seeing Liam again. 

 

Liam was drifting off in his first class when he heard his phone go off, he hadn't slept well the night before and Corporate Law 370 wasn't exactly a captivating topic. He hurriedly pulled his phone out of his pocket, embarrassed that he had forgotten to turn off the ringer and that the class was now staring. He quickly silenced it after a pointed look from the teacher, and blushed as he checked the screen. His eyes scanned the message, and his stomach flip-flopped as he realized it was from Zayn. He stopped and thought about the night before. He was still mortified by the experience, but he couldn't exactly avoid Zayn as they were still stuck together for this project. A "pep talk" from Louis (Just do it Liam, honestly, just jump his bones next time you see him!) hadn't left him feeling any better about the encounter, but he really had no choice. He shot back a quick affirmation text, and settling back into his chair, trying to focus on the diagrams on the board and not on the fact that he would be seeing Zayn again in an hour. 

Liam left his class when the bell rang and headed towards the lawn Zayn had mentioned. He wandered past a few frisbee games and couples huddled studying together on blankets before his eyes fell on Zayn. He was sitting under a tree in the shade, his legs crossed in front of him, leaning back on his palms. Liam paused a few yards off, trying to steal himself for the encounter before he took a deep breath, shook his head walked towards the tree. "Hey, mate," he called as he approached, not wanting to sneak up on Zayn. "Hey!" Zayn greeted with a smile, and Liam couldn't help but melt a little bit. He was wearing glasses today, thick black frames that somehow only made him better looking. Liam sat down at what he judged to be a normal distance from Zayn, nervously fiddling with the grass in front of him. "So, I've been thinking," Zayn began, "the project is also supposed to be about getting to know each other better, and really understanding the other person. Maybe we would have an easier time deciding what to do for the project if we got to know each other a little better first!" He continued easily, the unbroken eye contact affecting Liam in embarrassing ways. It had kind of silently been established that Zayn was taking the reins on this project, and Liam was more than happy to let him. "Sounds good to me," Liam said, running a nervous hand through his hair. The idea of knowing Zayn better was exciting to him, but he tried to play it off. He didn't know what it was about this boy that was so captivating. Sure, he was extremely good looking, but there was something else that drew Liam in. He didn't know what it was, but when Zayn smiled Liam felt it in the pit of his stomach, warm and unsettling in the best way possible.

Liam snapped out of his contemplation when Zayn shifted at Liam's agreement. He was now sitting directly in front of Liam, mirroring his criss-crossed pose with their knees almost touching. Now Liam really had no choice but to look Zayn in the eye, he was right in front of him. "You start," Liam said with a smile, not really sure what Zayn intended for this little exercise. Zayn laughed. "Alright," he said with an easy smile, "What do you want to know about me?" "Well," Liam began, gulping, "You said you're an art major...and something else too right? What do you want to do with your life?" "Yeah, yeah, Art and English," Zayn said, nodding. "And that's a good question, mate!" he replied with a rueful laugh. "I would love to be a professional artist, but that's a pretty tough gig to work out. Sometimes I think I'd also love to write, not that that's any more practical," he continued. He was laughing, but Liam could tell it was an important issue for him. Liam nodded, "Right, that's cool...what kind of art do you do?" "Oh, all sorts of things!" Zayn said, trying to be casual but clearly excited by a chance to talk about art. "I'm working on a lot of different mediums right now, for classes and stuff. I used to paint a lot, but I've messed around a bit with sculpting too. I'm in a figure drawing class right now that's giving me trouble, so maybe that's not my forte," he said with a laugh. Liam was captivated as he continued talking about his favorite artists, his brief stint as a photographer, and how he got into art. "I don't know, I guess it just felt right," he said, with a small smile, sighing happily at Liam. Liam smiled back, but couldn't help but feel jealous at Zayn's passion, and the ease with which he found his calling. 

Liam asked a few more questions, about where Zayn was from (Bradford,) and about his family ("Full of sisters!" Zayn said exuberantly,) before Zayn started directing questions to Liam. Liam thought Zayn sounded like the most interesting person in the whole world, and felt like he was just about the lamest one in comparison. Liam thought of his piles of comic books and mainstream band posters and really hoped Zayn didn't ask him about anything too embarrassing. "You're a business major, right? Do you like it?" Zayn asked. "Um, its alright," Liam said, "To be completely honest, it's not my favorite. I've got a job waiting for me at my father's company, so business seemed like a good choice in the meantime." He probably sounded like a complete prat, already kicking himself for not majoring in something cooler, or really just being cooler in general. "Oh, what does your dad do?" Zayn asked, tilting his head sideways kind of adorably. Liam hesitated before answering. He didn't really like talking about his father's job to people, they didn't look at him the same afterwards. He drew a breath, "Um, he owns a newspaper...in London," Liam said sheepishly, turning his gaze downwards to the grass. "Which one?" Zayn asked, of course he asked, because its a completely logical question. But its one Liam hated answering. "Um....The Star," Liam said, still not meeting Zayn's eyes. "Oh wow, mate," Zayn said, impressed. "That's great, are you excited to be working there?" Liam was relieved that Zayn hadn't made a big deal out of it, instead focusing back on Liam. But this wasn't a question Liam really knew how to answer either. He looked up at Zayn and found deep brown eyes, looking at him like he genuinely cared. "Well...yeah, I mean, I guess its just sort of always been the plan, and I don't really know what else I would do. It's a good job obviously, and my dad is set on having me take over, and he's always just kind of pushed it, but I'm not really sure I like business. In fact, I'm pretty sure I kind of hate it, but I don't really know what else I would do. I'm not really good at anything else, and...." he trailed off awkwardly, unsure of what had made him be so candid with someone who was basically a stranger. He met Zayn's eyes again, looking at Liam with concern. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble.." Liam said, embarrassed. "No, no, its okay!" Zayn reassured him, putting a hand lightly on Liam's knee, something that Liam was acutely aware of. "I mean, I'm supposed to get to know you and all," Zayn smiled. Liam smiled back shyly, still puzzled by Zayn's ability to make him feel at ease. 

"Do you mind if I ask a few more questions," Zayn asked, his hand grazing off of Liam's knee and back onto the grass in a way that made Liam more than a little flustered. He nodded, and Zayn asked, "So, what do you like to do in your free time?" Liam thought for a minute, trying to think of a way to sound not extremely lame before giving up. "Well, I like comic books. I love action movies, and I go to a lot of concerts with my best friend, Louis. I volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club, and I like that a lot," he shrugged, unsure of what else there was to say about himself. "That's really cool, mate!' Zayn said excitedly, which excited Liam in turn. "I love comic books! Some of the drawing in them is fantastic," continued Zayn, and Liam was delighted that someone as cool as Zayn could share any interests with him. "And you work at the Boys and Girls Club? That's incredible, what do you do?" Liam was flattered by the seemingly-genuine interest Zayn had in getting to know him. "I work mostly with the teenagers, I help them with homework and play basketball with them, sometimes take them for ice cream," he said with a shrug. "It's really not that big of a deal, but I really like it." "No, I think it's really cool," said Zayn, making Liam blush. "I like you, Liam Payne," said Zayn, leaning back on his hands again, "you're complicated. I like that." Liam blushed more deeply, no one had ever called him complicated before, and it sounded like a compliment when Zayn said it.

Just then, Liam's phone vibrated in his pocket, and he checked it to find a text from his dad about attending a board meeting that weekend. Zayn looked thoughtful as Liam typed a quick reply and cast his phone aside. "Who was that," Zayn asked, looking back to Liam. "Just my dad....he wanted to talk about the company, go figure," Liam said ruefully, shaking his head. Zayn's head snapped back to Liam, as if he had just thought of something. "What?" asked Liam, warily. "Figure," said Zayn, excitedly. "Um..yeah?" Liam responded, confused. "Okay, I have a idea," Zayn said to Liam, excitedly placing his hands on Liam's knees, leaning in closer. "So, what if, for our project, I drew you. A series of pictures, of you doing all the different things you do, kind of all the different sides of your personality. I get to practice figure drawing, and we get the project done!" Liam could tell Zayn was buzzing about this, but he didn't quite follow. "So you would just draw...me? I don't want to make you do all the work, and its not like I'm a model or anything..." Liam said, unsure. "No, it would be great! Trust me, posing for pictures is a pretty big part of art, so you would definitely be doing your part. We could even talk to the professor and get a go ahead if you're worried." Zayn said, still leaning his hands on Liam. Liam tried to ignore the closeness as he thought. He wasn't exactly comfortable with this, but Zayn was excited about it, and it sounded cool. He was pretty certain he would be the worst art subject on the planet, but he was willing to try for Zayn. "Alright," he finally agreed, smiling at Zayn, loving the reaction his agreement got. Zayn's eyes were brighter than he'd ever seen them, his smile wide and excited. "Yes!" he said, squeezing one of Liam's knees, "You're the man!" Liam blushed, but Zayn was too busy planning to notice. "Okay, we can start planning the first picture right away," he said, as much to himself as to Liam. "Are you free tomorrow afternoon? You can come to my apartment for us to work," he continued. Liam was keeping up with Zayn's rapid-fire plan, but just barely. "Yeah, yeah I can," he said, nodding. "Perfect," said Zayn, calming a bit and meeting Liam's eyes. They were both suddenly acutely aware of their proximity, Zayn leaning into Liam and resting his hands on his knees. Liam blushed but he didn't pull away, holding eye contact with Zayn. They shared a few more seconds of closeness before Zayn smiled and stood up, offering Liam a hand. They parted with excited smiles, and plans to meet with the professor tomorrow morning. Liam walked away blushing, and Zayn walked away intrigued and excited by Liam. Harry was right, he thought to himself, this was going to be a fun project indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

Zayn wandered around the apartment, making sure everything was tidy before Liam arrived. They had met with their professor earlier that morning, and he seemed thrilled with their choice in project. "Brilliant!" he had said, "I can't wait to see what you two boys can learn about each other," he continued with an impish grin. "And Zayn, I've heard about your work from other professors, and I'm certainly excited to see what kind of work you come up with." Zayn had smiled shyly at the compliment, not wanting to meet Liam's curious eyes. He knew he was talented, or at least others seemed to think so, but he wasn't into art for those reasons. He just loved how he felt with a paintbrush in his hand, losing himself in a blank piece of canvas and finding himself again hours later, splattered with paint and staring at something that he made. He shook himself out of thought, lighting a cigarette as he took one final glance around the flat. Harry was actually working for a change, leaving the apartment to he and Liam. He was strangely nervous at the thought of Liam coming over, and he was trying to convince himself that it was just because Zayn was going to have to draw for him. He ran his hands through his hair and checked his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing an old band t shirt and a pair of jeans that had long ago been ruined by smudges of charcoal and paint and who knows what else. 

He checked his watch, Liam was running a few minutes late. He had given Liam the address of his flat that morning, giving him directions on how to get there from campus. Unsure of what to do with himself until Liam's arrival and desperately needing something to do with his hands, Zayn started making tea. He had just put the kettle on when a tentative knock came at the door. Zayn crossed the kitchen and opened the door, smiling. "Liam!" he greeted, with a grin, "come on in, I've just put tea on. Fancy a cup?" he asked, ushering Liam in and offering him a seat at the small kitchen table. "Sure," Liam answered, shrugging out of his jacket. Underneath he was wearing a dark red sweater, snug but not too tight. Zayn appreciated the way it fit around's Liam's arms and chest, stealing glances as he prepared the tea. Apparently his glances weren't as subtle as he thought, because he soon found his eyes met by those of a blushing Liam. Zayn knew he was caught, but he didnt look away, holding eye contact for a few moments and enjoying the way it made Liam's blush deepen. "Sugar?" he finally asked, gesturing at the tea. "Uh, yes. Yes please." Liam answered, breaking the extended eye contact. Zayn brought the tea over and joined Liam, putting out his smoke in the ashtray on the table. "Did you have any trouble finding the apartment?" Zayn asked, breaking the silence. Liam shook his head, blowing on his tea to cool it. Zayn admired the way his lips pouted, but kept better control of his eyes this time. It had been amusing watching Liam get nervous, but he didn't want to leer at the poor lad. They chatted at the table for a few more minutes, Liam asking about the rest of his classes politely, and Zayn returning with inquiries of his own.

"So, I thought maybe we could do this in my room? I had a few ideas..." he asked after the chit chat had died down. " "Sure, whatever you want," Liam answered, getting up and putting both their teacups in the sink, which struck Zayn as charmingly polite and a little endearing. Zayn led the way to his bedroom. It was small, but the setting was right for the drawing he had in mind, and he figured he could make do. Liam followed him in, and Zayn watched his eyes roam around the room, taking in the art covering the walls and the white christmas lights haphazardly hung around the ceiling. Liam crossed the room, taking a closer look at some of the pieces on the wall. "Did you...do these?" he asked, not turning around. "Yeah," Zayn said, joining Liam by the wall. "These are some of my favorites, honestly most of what I do his rubbish," he said with a laugh. "No, they're....you're amazing." Liam said, turning to face Zayn, his eyes wide and warm. "Professor Williams was right, these are incredible." Zayn didn't blush often, but he felt warmth rising in his cheeks. "Thanks," he said grinning at Liam, made shy by the genuine nature of Liam's compliments. Liam continued to study some of the art on the walls, before turning to Zayn expectantly. "So..." he began, trailing off. "So!" Zayn replied, remembering what they were there for in the first place. "I thought for this first picture, I could draw you as a student. Just normal Liam, studying or whatever, you know?" Liam nodded, but continued to await further instructions from Zayn. "What you're wearing is fine," Zayn continued, getting up and beginning to move some things around in his room. "You can just sit at my desk, if that's okay." "Yeah, that's fine," Liam answered, and Zayn got the feeling he would have stood on his head if Zayn had asked him to. Liam sat at the desk, and Zayn helped him get the pose right, stacking a pile of books next to him and placing one, open, in his hands. He could tell Liam was nervous, so he rubbed a gentle hand on his back. "Don't worry, its gonna be great," he said, feeling Liam relax under his touch. Once everything was settled, Zayn took a seat a few feet away on a chair he had dragged in from the kitchen. "Alright," he said with a smile, "just sit there, try not to move too much and, well, look like yourself."

 

Liam tried to watch Zayn out of the corner of his eye, worried about moving too much but intrigued by the idea of watching Zayn draw. He had only been sitting for the drawing for a few minutes, but he already didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't want to talk and disrput Zayn's drawing, or move and ruin the picture, so he just sat in thought, pretending to read the textbook Zayn had put in his hands. He let his eyes roam around the room a little, still fascinated by the decor. The paintings and sketches on the walls made the room feel close, and the white lights overhead gave it a soft cozy glow. He could smell smoke, but it wasn't overbearing, and the whole room was kind of perfect and so incredibly Zayn. Liam didn't think he knew Zayn well enough to even know what that meant, but he liked the way it sounded in his head and he knew he would like the way it would feel on his tongue. He decided to chance a quick glance at Zayn, and found him gazing down at his sketchbook intently. His dark brows were furrowed as Liam watched his hand move across the paper, chaotic but steady. His expression cleared when he looked up and found Liam watching him. "No peeking," he teased, gesturing for Liam to turn his head back towards the book. 

"I know sitting can be a bit boring, would you like me to turn some music on?" Ziam asked, returning to his sketch. "I mean, only if it won't bother you or anything," Liam answered. "Not at all, sometimes I like drawing to music," Zayn said, getting up and walking over the stereo. Soon low music was filling the room, and Liam was glad for the distraction. He tried not to be self conscious about the fact that Zayn was drawing him, and apparently studying him rather intently. Their meeting that morning had been brief and friendly, both glad to get their professor's approval for their project. And despite the way that Zayn had looked in his black jeans and sunglasses, Liam had thought maybe he could handle doing this project without any further...incidents, and without Liam making a complete arse of himself. But now, the closeness of the room and the way he could smell Zayn's soap (or was it cologne?) and the way the music was low and soft made the whole arrangement feel kind of...intimate.

After what felt like an hour, Liam heard Zayn stop drawing. He snuck another glance in Zayn's direction, and found him looking at the sketchbook intently, admiring his work or critiquing it, Liam didn't know. "We can stop for a bit," said Zayn, looking up at Liam. "I think this one's mostly done anyway, just a few more touches to ad. And you can move now," he said to Liam with a smirk, and Liam realized he was still in his same pose, hands gripping the textbook tightly. He blushed as he stood up and stretched, his legs asleep from being in the same position for so long. "Can I see it?" he asked tentatively, nodding towards the pad Zayn had in his hand. "Sure," replied Zayn, but instead of just handing it to Liam, he motioned him over. Liam crossed the room to stand by Zayn, looking down at the drawing in his hand. He drew a breath when he looked at it. It was him alright, from his tousled hair down to his converse crossed under the chair. He was impressed with Zayn's ability to capture the moment, perfectly rendering Liam's hunched posture, conveying the stress of studying. "This is really good," he said, looking up to meet Zayn's eyes. Zayn smiled warmly, "Thanks, mate, you made a great model," he said with a laugh, clapping Liam on the back. Except Zayn's hand didn't fall away from his shoulders, but stayed, and he stood with his arm around Liam as they admired the drawing. Suddenly Zayn's room was feeling very close again, and Liam cleared his throat. But instead of pulling away or making an excuse to leave, he found himself saying, softly, "I would love to see more sometime...of your art I mean." 

Zayn smiled and ran a hand through his hair. He let his arm fall from Liam's shoulders, but didn't move away. "Well, actually.." he said shyly, and Liam looked at him curiously, urging him to continue. "Well, my friend Ed owns this music store, and tonight my roommate is playing there. And Ed kind of asked me to display some of my artwork around, make it a cool music/art night type thing..anyway, there's totally no pressure, but if you want you're more than welcome to come." Zayn's smile is so soft and his eyes are so warm that it took Liam a minute to answer. "No! I mean, yes! That sounds really cool, actually, I'd love to." he said, and then he's terrified that he made it sound like a date when Zayn was probably just being nice. "Can I, uh, invite my roommate? I told him we'd get drinks tonight, and he's pretty into music," Liam added, lying smoothly about the drinks. "Of course! The more the merrier," Zayn said, turning from Liam and carrying the kitchen chair out of his bedroom. His brusque departure made Liam afraid that maybe Zayn had meant it like a date, and now he'd gone and spoiled it by inviting Louis, but he hardly had time to worry before Zayn stuck his head back into the bedroom. "You coming?" he asked with a smile, and Liam promptly nodded and followed Zayn back out into the living room. 

Since the show started in a half hour, Liam offered to drive Zayn, deciding they could pick up Louis on the way. It was dusk outside as they left Zayn's flat, some of the heat of the day still lingering on the pavement. It was humid and sultry, and Liam tried not to notice when Zayn's hand brushed against his as they walked to the car. When they arrived at Liam's flat, he rushed up the stairs to grab Louis, leaving Zayn with the car running outside. He knew he might have to do a bit of convincing to get Louis to come, but then remembered Zayn had mentioned something about and open bar and decided that might be incentive enough. He found Louis sprawled on the couch, watching a celebrity news program. "There you are!" Louis called from the couch, "where have you been?" Liam was afraid of leaving Zayn waiting too long, so when he spoke, the words came out rushed. "Zayn's here and he invited us to an art show and there will be music and alcohol and you should come because I didnt want him to think I thought it was a date and we have to go so please just come!" he said breathily to Louis. He could see Louis trying to process everything. 'What, Zayn? Who's Zayn?" he asked, puzzled. "Zayn from the project. from the coffee shop yesterday..." Liam reminded him. "Oh. OH! Almost kiss Zayn?" Louis asked, surprise and excitement in his voice. "Yes, almost kiss Zayn," Liam said, rocking back on his heels frustratedly, "and he's downstairs waiting in the car so we've got to go now." "Alright, alright!" said Louis, jumping off the couch. Liam knew he would probably regret bringing Louis, but the damage was done. After hastily changing his shirt and slipping on his shoes, Louis was finally ready and Liam practically dragged him out the door and down to the car. "Sorry about the wait," Liam said, climbing back into the drivers seat. "This is my roommate Louis," he introduced, and Louis greeted Zayn with a knowing smile that made Liam groan internally. Yep, he thought to himself, I'm definitely going to regret bringing Louis. 

 

Zayn liked Louis, he was loud and funny and kept saying things just to annoy Liam. He could tell why they would be friends, and it made Zayn smile to watch them together. Liam parked when they got to the record store, and as they were walking in Zayn heard Louis whisper loudly to Liam. "God you didn't do him justice, I'd try to kiss him too," Louis said, followed by a terse "shut up," from Liam. But Louis continued. "If you don't fuck him, I will. Seriously." At this, Liam punched Louis swiftly in the arm, hastily glancing back at Zayn to see if he had heard. Zayn played it off like he hadn't, looking at Liam casually when their eyes met, but Zayn was kind of excited that Liam at mentioned him, had mentioned the almost kiss from the other day. He had told Harry, it was normal that Liam would have talked about it, but Ziam couldn't ignore the flurry of butterflies he had felt in his stomach at Louis' words. 

They entered the record store, a small place tucked away next to a Starbucks, and Zayn eyed the familiar record stacks, the makeshift stage set up at the back of the store. Zayn was suddenly ambushed my a mass of orange hair, pulled into a tight hug by Ed. He greeted him warmly before turning to Liam and Louis. "Ed, these are my friends, Liam and Louis. You guys, this is Ed. He owns this shop." Liam smiles politely and shook his hand, but Louis greeted him exuberantly. Zayn was puzzled by his energy until he heard Louis ask for the location of the bar and Ed's cheerful laugh in response. Zayn laughed quietly, watching Louis scurry of towards the alcohol. "Im really sorry about him, he can be a bit...yeah," Liam trailed off apologetically, but Zayn just shook his head, smiling. "No, I like him, he's funny. I'm glad you invited him," he hesitated before continuing, "And I'm glad you came too," he said, looking up at Liam. "Thanks for inviting me," Liam smiled back, sweetly. "Come on, I'll introduce you to my roommate," Zayn said, grabbing Liam's arm and tugging him along. He scanned the crowded store for Harry, until he found him tucked away in a corner, tuning his guitar. Harry looked up when they approached, a lopsided grin spreading across his face. "Zayn!" he said, getting up to hug him, even though they had seen each other just a few hours ago. "And who's this?" he asked, turning toward Liam and flashing him another smile. Zayn recognized it as Harry's flirting smile, and decided to intervene before he wound up with a flustered Liam on his hands. "This is Liam, we're working on that project together," he said to Harry. Harry changed his demeanor at the news, letting go of Liam's hand he had been shaking and giving Zayn a wink, letting out a small "ohhhh." "Nice to meet you Liam," Harry said warmly, the smoulder gone from his green eyes. "I've heard a lot about you," he continued, and Liam turned to Zayn with a laugh. "Oh really," he said teasingly, surprising Zayn with his candidness. He was glad that Liam was loosening up a little bit, although he did like the way he could make Liam blush. Zayn was relieved when Louis appeared at his side before Harry could embarrass him further. 

"Who's this?" Louis asked Liam, his eyes focused intently on Harry. Zayn could tell Louis had knocked back at least one drink already, but he had a feeling Louis was probably this brazen all the time. "Louis, this is my roommate Harry," Zayn introduced, "he'll be playing on stage tonight. Harry, this is Louis, Liam's roommate." "Hello," growled Harry, and Zayn could see the devilish look back in his eyes. Louis and Harry fell into an easy banter, and Zayn smirked at Harry's obvious attempts at charm. This time it was his turn to apologize to Liam for his roommate, but when he turned, Liam wasn't there. Zayn found him a few feet away, admiring one of Zayn's pieces that was up around the store. Zayn wandered over, joining Liam next to the painting. "Do you like it?" he asked, smiling at the way Liam's eyes were wide scanning the piece, taking it all in. "I do," said Liam, still engrossed. "Tell me about it?" he finally said, turning towards Zayn hopefully. "Well," Zayn started, "this was a piece I did a few months ago, when I was really into working with newspaper. You should have seen our flat, covered in torn up bits of newsprint. And I think I had ink smudges on my hands for weeks." Liam laughed at that, taking a second look at the painting. "It is done on newspapers, isnt it?" he said, more to himself than to Zayn. "You're really incredible you know," Liam said earnestly, this time directly at Zayn. "You're so talented, its...really cool." Zayn smiled self effacingly, looking up and meeting Liam's deep brown eyes which were looking at Zayn like he was a wonder. He often received compliments on his art, but few people were as genuine as Liam. He was moved by the boy's sweet sincerity, and flattered by his earnest praise. Before he could respond, Harry took the stage with his guitar, causing Liam and Zayn to find seats in the small audience. Louis joined them a moment later, another drink in his hand. "Zayn, your roommate's a sex god." Louis said, eliciting a laugh from Zayn and a glare from Liam. "I sincerely hope you're not speaking from experience," Liam said scoldingly, eyeing Louis. "Unfortunately not," Louis answered, taking another sip of his drink. "Im afraid all we had time for was a quick snog in the bathroom." At this, Liam groaned, covering his face with his hands. Zayn was amused and a little surprised. Harry liked to play Cassanova, but deep down Zayn knew he was kind of a romantic. Other than a few drunken shags, Zayn hadn't really known him to be the hit it and quit it type. He was quite popular with girls (and guys), but he was more prone to getting his heart broken than leaving any broken hearts behind. 

The lights dimmed and conversation in the audience died down as Harry stepped up to the mic. He introduced himself and began, coaxing the right chords from his guitar with long fingers. Zayn always liked seeing Harry perform, he knew it made him happier than anything to be onstage playing. He tried to come to as many shows as he could, and in turn Harry showed up dutifully to gallery openings and end of the year art showcases. The room filled with applause as the first song ended, and more than a few girls were cheering more exuberantly than was strictly necessary. Harry continued, filling the room with his low, gravelly voice. Zayn looked over at Louis to find his blue eyes wide, looking at Harry like he was a glass of ice water, and Louis had gone years without a drink. He nudged Liam, gesturing towards Louis. Liam just shook his head and smiled, letting out an audible sigh that made Zayn giggle. After a few more songs, Harry left the stage with a bow, and Ed replaced him at the mic. "Give it up one more time for our resident musician Harry Styles," he said, eliciting more applause from the audience. "We'd love you to stick around, have something to drink, and appreciate some of the art generously provided by the one and only Zayn Malik." He gestured to Zayn as he said this, and Zayn smiled graciously as curious eyes turned to look at him. 

They hung around the record store for a bit, Zayn being complimented on his art by several patrons and chatting with Ed about the store. He had offered Liam a drink, but Liam had politely declined, embarrassedly mumbling something about a kidney problem. Zayn wasn't going to drink after that either, but Liam reassured him that he didn't mind, so Zayn had a couple of beers. Harry and Louis had both disappeared, a fact that hadn't escaped Zayn and Liam's notice, but neither of them mentioned it. After a while, the store got to be a bit too crowded, and the stage lights too bright, and Zayn felt like he desperately needed a cigarette. "I think I'm gonna step out for a smoke," he said, his hand on Liam's arm, leaning close to whisper in his ear in the crowded shop. He hesitated before continuing, "Want to come out with me?" Liam nodded and followed Zayn out the side door to the alley. 

The night was close and humid, the narrow alley only illuminated by a single light over the door to the shop. Zayn leaned against the wall, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. "Are you having a good time?" he asked, turning to Liam, who was leaning against the wall next to him. "I am, yeah," Liam said, turning to face Zayn. "Thanks for inviting me," he smiled, and Zayn smiled back, glad to have Liam's company. A few moments of silence went by, and Zayn let his eyes wander up to the black sky, wishing he could see the stars. Liam's voice brought him back to earth. "I've never, I mean, what's smoking like?" Liam asked, cocking his head to the side as he looked at Zayn. He smiled at Liam's sweetness, of course he hadn't smoked. "Do you want to try a drag?" he asked, offering the cigarette out to Liam. A moment went by before Zayn pulled his hand back, "Its fine, you don't have to," he said to Liam. "Wait," said Liam, putting his hand on Zayn's and hesitating, then taking the cigarette. He put it up to his mouth and inhaled, coughing and sputtering almost immediately. He looked embarrassed handing the cigarette back to Zayn, but Zayn just laughed. "Don't worry, that happens almost everyone's first time," he said, not wanting Liam to be embarrassed. "You're probably just saying that," Liam said, but he was smiling and Zayn could hear the lightness in his voice. 

Just then, Zayn had a thought. It was bold, but the thought of it was too tempting for Zayn to resist. "I have an idea," he said impulsively, turning to Liam. He stepped close to Liam, feeling him react to the change in their proximity. "Just breathe in, okay?" he said, and Liam looked at him curiously, but nodded. Zayn took a long drag, and then leaned in, placing his mouth against Liams. He could see Liam's eyes widen, but he dutifully inhaled as Zayn blew smoke slowly into his open mouth. This time Liam didn't cough, and Zayn leaned back to take another drag, not taking his eyes off Liam's. He leaned in and touched his mouth to Liam's again, and this time both boys closed their eyes as the smoke left Zayn's mouth and filled Liam's lungs. Zayn wondered idly if the beers he drank had anything to do with his impulsivity, but he was too distracted by the way his jeans suddenly felt too tight to dwell on it further. He pulled away for one last drag, trying not to notice the way his hands were shaking as he brought the cigarette to his lips. He leaned in for a third time, brushing his lips lightly against Liam's as he exhaled. He pulled away and looked up at Liam. His eyes were surprised and hungry and a little bit excited. They shared a long moment, neither wanting to break the silence, neither knowing what to say. 

When they finally made their way back inside, Harry and Louis had reappeared, helping Ed clear away the napkins and empty beer bottles. "There you are," Louis said, rushing over to Liam, as if he weren't the one who had gone missing for an hour. Zayn's eyes found Harry a few feet away, and Zayn notices several dark love bites on his neck. "Where were you?" Louis continued, and Zayn could see Liam falter, so he stepped in. "I was just outside having a smoke, Liam joined me," he said, smiling at Liam, and Liam nodded, smiling shyly back. Just then, a loud voice appeared at Zayn's side. "Zaynie! Sorry I'm late, babe," and there was Perrie, all purple hair and spidery eyelashes. Before Zayn could react, she was leaning in, pressing a glossy kiss to Zayn's cheek. "I, uh, hi Perrie," he said, trying in vain to extracate himself from her vicelike grip on his arm. Perrie was sweet, but she was subtle as a trainwreck, and Zayn had been rebuffing her advances for a while now. But he knew there was no way to explain that to Liam, who looked like someone had cancelled his birthday party. "Liam, this is ----" he began, but Liam was already turned towards Louis. "Let's go," he said, ignoring Louis protests. He nodded curtly to Zayn, and thanked Ed politely before hurrying out the door, leaving Zayn frustrated and horny and a little more disappointed than he should be to see Liam go. "Need a ride home, babe?" Perrie said invitingly, and Zayn didn't miss the hidden meaning in her words. But he really did need a ride home, so he agreed reluctantly, already missing the way Liam's lips had felt in the darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

Liam awoke grumpily the next morning, wishing he could blame his pounding head and sour mood on a hangover. He pulled himself out of bed, wandering into the kitchen in his boxers. He found Louis slumped at the kitchen table, groaning is Liam walked into the room. "Could you be a little quieter?" Louis asked without raising his head. "I haven't even said anything," said Liam. Louis had a habit of getting drunk off his arse and then making Liam baby him the next morning. "Well, I guess I shouldn't have expected you to be sensitive to my condition," Louis snapped, raising his head to face Liam. He looked terrible, Liam had heard him retching into the toilet when they got home that night. Liam filled a glass with water and got two pain killers out of the cabinet, placing both in front of Louis, who mumbled a grumpy, "Thanks," before swallowing the pills. Liam made some toast and took a seat at the table across from Louis. "Are you going to tell me what the hell you were so pissed off about last night?" Louis asked, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest. "I told you, I wasn't pissed. I was just tired, I wanted to come home," Liam lied, knowing he didn't sound the least bit convincing. Louis just rolled his eyes, "I know your lying, God its like you forget I'm your best friend or something." Liam grumbled at that, and Louis continued, "All I know is that you came in from being outside with Zayn looking like you'd just seen a unicorn, and the second that bit of purple showed up, you were basically carrying me to the car. So don't pretend it's not about Zayn." Louis was dangerously close to the truth, so Liam went on the defensive before Louis could continue. "Well what about you, are you going to tell me what happened last night? Although I can guess from the love bites all over your neck and the number written in sharpie on your arm." Liam said, gesturing to Louis. Louis looked down at the number again, scrawled drunkenly across his forearm by Harry the night before. He pulled his arm off the table and into his lap, out of Liam's sight. "We shagged, that's all there is to tell," Louis said, playing it off casually. "Are you going to call him?" Liam asked, "You two looked pretty cozy." Louis shook his head, "Nah, it was just a drunken shag." Liam was about to protest, but Louis mumbled something about a shower and left the table. Liam pretended he didn't notice Louis copying the number onto slip of paper before going to wash it off in the shower. 

Liam finished his toast, his mind drifting back to last night. To Zayn. He tried not to remember the part where Zayn's lips were on his, and he felt like the earth was spinning in a different direction beneath him and his mouth was full of smoke and it tasted like Zayn. He tried not to remember the way Zayn looked in the dark of the alley, and the way the night felt hot and close and the way Zayn kept leaning closer and closer to Liam. But he did remember, and it sent a shiver down his spine, recalling the way Zayn's eyes had looked at him, making Liam think that maybe there was something there. But he also remembered what happened after. Standing in the bar, watching Zayn with what was most likely his girlfriend, wanting to disappear. Of course Zayn had a girlfriend, he was gorgeous and talented and perfect, and Liam was a fool to ever think he Zayn could see him as anything but a partner for a stupid project. He was embarrassed, but he couldn't exactly be mad at Zayn. He had been drunk, and its not as if they were actually snogging. He was probably just fooling around, and Liam had taken it for something it wasn't. He sighed, resolving from now on to be all business about the project, about Zayn. No more heart eyes, no more pining, just finishing the project and cutting ties with Zayn as soon as possible. It was better this way, really. 

He got ready for the day, taking a shower with what little hot water Louis had left and silently reminding himself to shower before his roommate next time. He had just stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, when he heard his phone ringing in his bedroom. His heart stopped when he saw that it was Zayn calling, but he reminded himself of his resolution and answered. "Hello?" he asked, trying to be nonchalant. "Hey! Liam. What - uh - how are you?" Liam was confused by Zayn's stuttering, he had no reason to be nervous. "I'm fine." Liam said, not giving any further answer. "Great! So, I was wondering if you wanted to meet later this afternoon, I still need to finish up a bit on that drawing, you know.." Zayn trailed off expectantly. Liam was nervous about meeting with Zayn again. You can do this, he thought to himself, before answering. "Yeah, sure, this afternoon should work fine. Do I need to wear the same thing..?" he asked in what he hoped sounded like a casual voice. "Nah, no, its fine," Zayn continued, "I mostly finished that part of the picture anyway. But look, about last night, I wanted to tell you that Perrie, it wasn't -" but Liam cut him off, "It's fine Zayn, really its no big deal." Liam said, not wanting to hear any more about Perrie, not wanting Zayn to think he was upset. Before he could think, he found himself blurting "And I can't be too long, this afternoon, because I...have a date. Tonight." He lied smoothly, hoping it sounded convincing. "Oh," said Zayn, and it was probably Liam's imagination that he sounded a little put out. "Right, that's fine. It, um, it won't take long. Right, see you soon, mate." and Liam heard the line go dead. 

"Why did you tell him that?" Liam heard behind him, and turned to find Louis leaning against his doorjamb. "What are you talking about," asked Liam, playing dumb. "Why did you tell Zayn you had a date tonight when I know for a fact that not only do you not have a date tonight, but that you've been pining for that quiff from the moment you laid eyes on him," Louis said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I have not," Liam said defensively, "and how do you know I don't have a date tonight? I don't tell you everything," he bluffed. Louis just rolled his eyes. "You haven't been on a date in sixth months, and you're right, you don't tell me everything. Like what happened last night," Louis said, not giving up. "Nothing happened," Liam huffed before shutting the door on Louis, and getting dressed to leave for Zayn's. 

 

Zayn hung up the phone in frustration. He had wanted to explain to Liam that Perrie was just a friend, but Liam hadn't sounded the least bit interested, hadn't even let him finish. And Liam had a date tonight, making it pretty clear that he thought last night had been a mistake. He ran his hands through his air, flopping down onto the couch with a groan. "What's wrong, mate?" Harry said, coming into the living room. He was wearing long johns with no shirt, and Zayn could see Harry's chest and back covered in marks and love bites. "Nothing," Zayn said dismissively, running his hand down his face before turning back to Harry. "But it looks like you had a good time with Louis last night," he teased. Harry just grinned, grabbing orange juice from the fridge and pouring himself a glass. "I suppose I did, yeah." Harry finally said, and Zayn could see a sheepish smile on his face, showing off his dangerously adorable dimples. He had seen that look before, and it was always a bit worrisome. "You like him, don't you." Zayn said, walking to the kitchen and leaning against the wall facing Harry. Harry shrugged, but Zayn could see him smiling into his orange juice. "I gave him my number, I think. I wrote it on his arm." 'Do you think he'll call?" Zayn asked. He liked Louis, he wouldn't mind seeing more of him around. But he also worried about Harry, he looked tough but he was incredibly sensitive. "Dunno," replied Harry quietly, "I hope so." 

"What about you, how was your night?" Harry asked as Zayn joined him at the table, lighting a cigarette. "You seemed upset when Liam left." Zayn sighed, trying to decide how much he should tell Harry.“I may have sort of...kind of kissed Liam?” He said tentatively, and watched Harry’s eyes widen. “I mean, it wasn’t exactly a proper kiss, I was teaching him how to smoke and then I was breathing into his mouth, and our lips touched...” “Sounds like a kiss to me, mate,” Harry said, grinning impishly at Zayn, “You like him don’t you?” Did he? Liam was fit, that’s for sure. And Zayn did like being around him, he was so sincere and friendly, looking at Zayn with wide brown eyes. And when they kissed, if that’s what it was, Zayn’s heart was racing and his hands were shaking and he felt like the sky could have fallen and Zayn wouldn’t have noticed if he just kept his lips against Liam’s. “Maybe,” he admitted to Harry, meeting his green eyes across the table, “but it’s kind of fucked up now.” He continued with a sigh. “When Perrie showed up last night, I think Liam got the wrong impression, and now Liam’s got a date tonight so he’s probably not even interested...” he trailed off. “I was wondering why he left in such a rush.” Harry said, looking contemplative. “Well, he’s coming over today right?” Harry asked. Zayn nodded. “You should just try to talk to him then, tell him how you feel.” Harry said with a sweet smile. Everything was so simple for Harry, Zayn thought. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and sure he ended up getting it broken, but he was also more open with his heart than Zayn had ever been. He loved completely and without fear, which was something Zayn had never been good at. 

Zayn left the kitchen and went to take a long shower. Something about the steam and hot water always helped him sort things out when they felt complicated. He thought as the water fell around him, recalling images of Liam’s eyes in the dark alley. His thoughts drifted elsewhere, to the possibility of Liam’s hands on his waist, in his hair. Of proper kisses, without the taste of smoke, long and deep and irresistible. He felt himself growing hard and he groaned. Maybe Harry was right, maybe he should try to talk to Liam again. To explain about Perrie, about last night. He had never been good at these kind of conversations, but he didn’t know what else to do. He got out of the shower and dressed, nervously taking extra time on his hair. Harry appeared behind him in the mirror, leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. “Someone’s nervous,” he said with a smile, and Zayn stuck his tongue out at him in the mirror. “Does this mean you’re going to talk to him? Harry asked hopefully. Zayn nodded. “I think so.” Harry came up behind Zayn and wrapped his long arms around him, resting his head on Zayn’s shoulder. Harry was perhaps the most affectionate person Zayn had ever met, he constantly invaded Zayn’s personal space in a way he wouldn’t have allowed if it were anyone else. “It will be fine, don’t worry,” Harry said sweetly, before kissing Zayn’s cheek and heading off for work at the coffee shop. 

Zayn waited impatiently for Liam to show up, rehearsing again and again in his head what he would say when he arrived. Finally, a knock came at the door. Zayn wiped his sweating hands on his pants nervously, and opened the door to usher Liam in. “Hey,” Liam said, facing Zayn. “Hey,” Zayn returned. They stood facing each other, both unsure of what the new rules were. He noticed Liam was in a t shirt, the sleeves hugging his biceps enticingly. He tore his eyes away to meet Liam’s again. “Is it hot out today?” he asked Liam, not knowing where to begin. “Yeah, yeah it’s nice outside.” Liam answered. Neither of them moved. Zayn took a deep breath “Look, I wanted to talk about last night, it wasn’t --” but Liam cut him off again before he could say anything, shaking his head, “Its fine, you were drunk.” “But I wanted to tell you, it was --” Zayn attempted to continue, but Liam interrupted again. “It didn’t mean anything. We don’t need to talk about it. It doesn’t matter.” That hit Zayn like a slap in the face. So he was right, it hadn’t meant anything to Liam. He tried to ignore the sudden twist he felt inside, pushing away the disappointment. “Right. Well. Let’s hurry and finish this so you can go.” He said quietly, turning to walk to his room. 

They sat in silence this time, Liam sitting at Zayn’s desk again and Zayn facing him, putting the finishing touches on the drawing. He wanted this over as soon as possible, but he didn’t want to sacrifice the quality of the drawing either. Finally, he finished, coughing to get Liam’s attention. “Its, um finished.” he said, and Liam got up out of the seat. “Can I see it?” Liam asked, giving Zayn a small, tight smile. Zayn nodded and handed him the sketch book. He watched Liam’s eyes scan the page, before he handed it back to Zayn with a simple, “Looks good.” Zayn couldn’t help but miss Liam’s sweet praise of his art, but he supposed that was gone now. “Thanks,” Zayn mumbled, taking the book out of Liam’s hands. “I thought for the next picture, I could maybe draw you working, like at the Boys and Girls club?” he asked, hoping the project was a neutral conversation for them to have. “Yeah, sure, sound good.” Liam said with a nod. They stood in silence for a moment, and Zayn didn’t know what to say. After a long minute passed, Liam gestured towards the door. “I should probably...” he trailed off, and Zayn nodded. Liam turned to leave, walking towards the bedroom door. “Liam,” Zayn said as Liam’s hand was on the doorknob. “Yeah?” Liam said, turning towards Zayn, and Zayn thought he saw something flicker in Liam’s eyes. “Have fun tonight.” Zayn said, forcing a smile. Whatever he thought he had seen in Liam’s eyes was gone. “Thanks,” he mumbled, before leaving Zayn’s bedroom. Zayn heard the front door open and shut a few moments later before falling onto his bed, aching inside. 

 

Liam moped for the rest of the evening when he got home. And the next day. And the day after that. He was either in his room, blaring sad music and flipping absentmindedly through comic books, or curled up on the couch, mindlessly watching trashy tv programs. It was on the third day, when Louis discovered him with an empty pint of ice cream in his hand, that he couldn't take it any more. "Liam. I say this not only because your behavior has been extremely annoying, but also because I care about you as a friend. You need fucking help, mate." Liam growled and turned away from Louis, wrapping the blanket up and over his head protectively. "My god, its like you're dog died. Will you please tell me what the hell happened with Mr. I'm So Cool Ive Got A Million Tattoos?" Liam sighed. He had been putting off telling Louis what happened with Zayn, but he couldn't get around it any longer. "Zayn and I sort of, kissed I guess? He was teaching me to smoke, and he was drunk...anyway then Perrie showed up and that's really all there is to it." he said quickly, not meeting Louis' eyes. "Oh, love," Louis said, cuddling up to Liam. "Did you talk about it?" Louis asked softly, and Liam shrugged. "Sort of, I suppose I didn't really let him get to it," Liam said guiltily, knowing Louis would harp into him for that. "Hm, yes, clearly the only possible solution to this was to make up a fake date and ignore him. I can see where you're coming for there." Louis teased, but his voice was gentle. Liam sighed and rested his head against Louis' shoulder. "Have you talked to him since?" Louis asked. "I tried calling, but he didn't pick up," Liam admitted, embarrassed that he had even tried. Louis sighed, rubbing Liam's back gently. "I think you should go talk to him, and let him properly explain this time" Louis said after a bit. "Even if you think it's something you don't want to hear, clearly your more miserable this way anyway." Liam knew Louis was right. "But he probably doesn't want to talk to me," Liam complained, knowing Louis wouldn't buy his weak excuse. "He wanted to talk before, I'm sure he still does," Louis answered. "And if you don't fix things I'll make good on my promise to fuck him instead," he added, as an afterthought. 

"Speaking of fucking," Liam said, "are you ever going to call Harry?" Liam felt Louis tense up at his question. "No, probably not." Louis answered, suddenly engrossed in the program showing on the tv. "Like I said, it was just a meaningless shag." "But what if it meant more than that to him?" Liam asked. "Well, it didn't to me." Louis answered, not meeting Liam's eyes. Liam knew Louis was bluffing, but Louis could be stubborn, and Liam didn't have the energy to fight it right now. "But enough about me," Louis said, rolling Liam off the couch and onto the floor, "Go talk to Zayn." Liam huffed from his new position on the ground, but he knew Louis had a point. He was miserable, and he would probably continue to be until things were fixed with Zayn. He should clear things up, and maybe apologize for the way he acted last time the spoke. After a shower, a cup of tea, and a pep talk from Louis, he left for Zayn's apartment. His hands were shaking, and he was pretty sure his heartbeat was audible from several states away, but he was determined. It was raining again, pouring sheets of heavy rain obstructing Liam's vision as he drove. 

Liam was a few streets away from Zayn's apartment when he saw a figure walking in the rain. It took him a few moments, peering through the rain-washed windshield, to realize it was Zayn. He was walking with his head down, his hands shoved in his pockets and without a jacket. Liam took a deep breath before pulling up beside Zayn. He rolled down the window, causing Zayn to look up at him. "Want a ride?" he asked sheepishly, and he could see Zayn hesitate before nodding and climbing into the car. "Sorry Im all wet," Zayn mumbled, shivering has he buckled his seat belt. "Don't worry about it," Liam replied, reaching to turn up the heat, noticing Zayn's shivers. Liam stole a glance at Zayn, noticing the way the rain made his clothes cling to his body, making Liam's hands tremble on the steering wheel. The atmosphere in the car was tense as Liam drove, and both were silent as they pulled up in front of Zayn's apartment. Liam knew he had to say something but he didn't know what, and he was silently cursing Louis for ever talking him into this. Zayn looked at Liam expectantly for a minute, but when Liam was silent, Zayn turned to leave. "Thanks for the ride," he said quietly, reaching for the handle. 'Wait," Liam said, leaning to put his hand over Zayn's. Liam's heart was racing but he knew it was now or never. "I, um, I wanted to -" he fumbled over his words, unsure of where to begin. "I made up the date." He admitted finally. "I just told you that, because I was jealous. It was stupid, and I don't know why I said it but it wasn't true." He knew he was rambling, but he had to get it all out at once, or he would lose courage. "And I lied about that night. It did mean something," he continued. "...to me at least." He added softly under his breath, look down. "Perrie's not my girlfriend." He heard Zayn say after a long moment, quietly at his side. "I tried to tell you, but you left. We're just friends. And that night, it wasn't because I was drunk, and it was...." he trailed off, before quietly adding, "it meant something to me, too." Liam was relieved to hear about Perrie, he felt foolish for being so sure that they were dating. He met Zayn's eyes, and they were soft and golden and filled with an emotion Liam couldn't name.

The car suddenly felt warm and close, cozy and intimate with the rain falling outside. It reminded Liam of that day at the coffee shop, when they had almost kissed. Maybe Zayn felt it too, because Liam felt Zayn's hand, soft on his. Zayn's thumb began stroking circles into the back of Liam's hand, making Liam's heart race and making Liam hope Zayn couldn't hear it. And then they were both leaning in, eyes closed and breath scarce. Liam felt Zayn's lips touch his, soft and warm, sending a flurry tingles down Liam's spine. Zayn leaned in, deepening the kiss, wrapping a gentle hand around Liam's neck. Zayn's mouth didn't taste like smoke this time, but it felt like home, and Liam leaned into the kiss hungrily. His hand's went to Zayn's chest, not caring about his wet clothes, feeling him shudder under Liam's touch. Liam had kissed a fair amount of people in his time, but never before had a kiss made him see supernovas, or made him feel like time had stopped just for them, just for now. They pulled apart a few moments later, but kept their foreheads together. They were both breathing heavily, and Liam blushed at the way Zayn's eyes burned. "Well, I'm glad we cleared that up," Zayn said quietly, leaning in to place another soft kiss on Liam's lips, and Liam couldn't keep the smile off of his face. 

They sat in Liam's car, talking quietly and exchanging gentle kisses, murmuring to each other stories and jokes and everything that came into their heads. They sat like that for hours, not noticing the rain let up or the sky slowly begin to fade to darkness, completely enclosed in their own little world. Night had fallen when Zayn finally got out of the car, with another deep kiss and a promise to call the next day. Liam watched him walk into his building, already missing the way he tasted and felt and looked and smelled. He was buzzing as he drove home, his hands shaking and his mind racing, lips still tingling from kissing Zayn until it hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

Zayn looked up and caught Liam’s eye, flashing him a brief smile before returning to his drawing. It had been happening all afternoon, distracting each other with heart eyes as Zayn drew and Liam worked. Zayn had come to the Boys and Girls club with Liam to work on the next drawing, excited to get to see him in a new environment. Liam was in the middle of helping one of the high school kids, Niall, he thought his name was, with his homework. Niall was wiry with a shock of blond hair, currently covered by a backwards snapback. He looked like the kind of kid who might have an attitude, but he seemed compliant sitting at the table with Liam, heads bent over a biology textbook. And Liam looked happier than he Zayn had ever seen him (with the exception of a few moments leading up to and following Zayn’s lips on his). Liam looked like he was in his element, comfortable and happy working with the kids at the club, playing games and helping them with homework. Zayn couldn’t help but see the contrast between this Liam and the one he saw dutifully pouring over business homework and stock market figures. He sketched the two boys at the table, trying to capture the lightness in Liam's demeanor, the easy feel of he and Niall's interaction. 

Zayn smiled to himself as he worked on the drawing. To be honest, he hadn’t really stopped smiling since their kiss last week. It had been perfect and unexpected. Zayn had been hurting all weekend, moping around and getting drunk with Harry, ending up with his head in his friends lap while Harry hushed him and played with his hair softly, urging him to just talk to Liam. "I tried," he whispered sadly , "he doesn't want to talk to me." He had also been comforting Harry with troubles of his own, disappointed that Louis hadn't called. When he asked Liam about it later, Liam just shrugged. "He keeps insisting it didn't mean anything to him, but I know he's lying. I don't understand it." But despite his own heartache, Harry had been more than sympathetic in comforting Zayn. When he was walking back to his apartment from the studio, drenched and freezing and even more miserable than he had been all weekend, the last thing in the world Zayn had expected was for Liam to pull up and offer him a ride. He grinned foolishly at the memory of them kissing in cozy car, fogging up the windows and not caring that they had been parked in an illegal zone for hours. Liam was warm and soft under his lips and fingertips, all misunderstanding and pretence pushed aside at last. And things were going well, or at least it felt that way to Zayn. They had been spending most of their free time together since then, still in the shy getting-to-know-you phase. They watched movies curled up on Zayn or Liam's couch, sharing tentative kisses during the slower parts, or working on homework together at the kitchen table, stealing glances when they thought the other wasn't looking. And they talked for hours. They talked about school and friends and hobbies, and what they were afraid of and what kind of movies they liked. And it was just kind of...perfect. And it made Zayn kind of ridiculously happy in a way he didn't often let himself feel. 

He was still looking down at the drawing when Liam approached, coming to sit on the arm of the chair Zayn was drawing from. "Can I see it?" he asked politely, even though Zayn knew he already could from where he was sitting. That was something Zayn loved about Liam, he was always so sweet. Polite, but never boring. "Of course," Zayn answered, handing the sketch pad to a smiling Liam, enjoying the way their fingers briefly touched. He watched as Liam's eyes scanned the drawing, taking it all in. "It looks fantastic," he said brightly after a moment. "I love it," he continued, leaning down to place a small kiss on Zayn's cheek. Liam was blushing when Zayn looked up, taking Liam's hand in his. "I'm glad you like it, it was fun to draw. You looked great over there," he said, nodding towards the table where Niall was packing his schoolwork back into his backpack. "You looked happy," he continued, rubbing small circles into Liam's hand with his thumb. Liam just shrugged, blushing in response. "I'm done here if you wanna get out of here," Liam said, rising off his perch, "We could get lunch or something," he suggested. "Well," Zayn said, standing, "I was actually going to head to the studio to do some work on another piece," Liam looked a bit disappointed. "Oh, that's fine, I should probably study. anywa-" he said, but Zayn cut him off. "No, I was going to see if you wanted to come, actually. I mean it might be a bit boring, but you haven't seen the studio, and its kind of cool..." he knew he was rambling, not wanting Liam to feel obligated to come, but hoping he would anyway. "I'd love to." Liam replied quickly, smiling and squeezing Zayn's hand, sending a flurry of butterflies into Zayn's stomach. "Great," he said, smiling back. They stood smiling at each other for a long moment, something Zayn noticed happening a lot lately. "Let me just grab my stuff, then we can go," Liam finally said. Zayn nodded and Liam wandered over to the cubby where his things were stashed. "Ready?" he asked, grinning. "Ready," Zayn said, taking Liam's hand. 

Zayn led Liam through the halls of the arts building, swiping his keycard at a few doors as they wandered through the maze of studios. They finally reached Zayn's studio, and Zayn held the door open for Liam, ushering him in. He watched Liam as he entered, taking in the white walls and supply cabinets as if they were something amazing. "Is this just for you?" he asked, turning back to Zayn. "Yeah, one of the perks of being an art major close to graduation," he said with a smirk, "they only assign them when you're working on your senior project." "I like it," Liam said with a smile, and it was kind of adorable. "Thanks," Zayn said, crossing the room to pull Liam in for a brief kiss. "So," Liam asked as they pulled apart, "What are you working on?" "Well," Zayn said, not taking his arms from around Liam, "the one I need to do today isn't for my grad project, it's for one of my classes." He tore himself away to grab some supplies and a fresh canvas from one of the cabinets. "We're supposed to make a painting without any tools," he continued, setting everything down by the easel, "So basically, finger painting." Liam smiled. "Finger painting?" Zayn nodded. "You're welcome to help." He said, grinning at Liam. "Oh no, I mean I'm not..." Liam trailed off, uncomfortable. "I'll just watch you." He said. Zayn laughed at Liam's hesitance, but just shrugged, giving Liam another small kiss before turning back to his easel. Zayn had been thinking about what he wanted for this piece, and he was pretty sure he knew what direction he wanted to take it in. He got his palette ready, squeezing the necessary colors out, knowing he would just end up making a huge mess of them anyway. He flipped through the pages of one of his art books, setting it up next to the easel when he found the right page. 

"Starry Night?" Liam asked tentatively, and Zayn turned towards him, impressed. "I thought you didn't know anything about art," he teased. "I know some things," Liam said with a smile. "Are you going to do Starry Night?" Liam asked curiously, nodding towards the book. "Sort of," Zayn answered, "it will probably look a bit different with just using my hands, but I think it will be cool." "I'm sure it will be great," Liam beamed, and Zayn was once again moved by Liam's sincerity. With one more smile for Liam, he set to work. The paint felt good on his hands, cool and smooth as he dipped his fingers in. He took a deep breath and faced the canvas, placing the first gentle strokes along its textured surface. He loved beginning a new piece. Sometimes Zayn jokingly compared it to sex, it started out tentative and shy and a little bit uncertain. But then, as it progressed everything fell into place and your heart starts beating a little faster and you stop thinking about the way your hands are moving and everything just feels right and its thrilling. He worked steadily for a while, moving his hands carefully, mixing the paints messily with his fingers and slowly filling the canvas with patches of color. He occasionally stole glances at Liam, aware of the boys eyes on him, wide and shining. He had been worried Liam would be bored, but he looked engrossed in watching Zayn paint, which made his heart flutter just a little as he worked.

After a while his throat felt dry, and he became aware of his growing thirst. "Liam, would you mind getting me a glass of water?" he asked, gesturing helplessly to his messy hands. "Sure," Liam said, standing, and Zayn directed him to the cups and faucet in the corner. Liam brought over a glass, laughing as he held it for Zayn to drink. "What do you think?" Zayn asked as he finished drinking. "It looks beautiful so far," Liam said, directing his gaze towards the painting. Zayn watched him, taking in his strong jaw and big brown eyes, soft as he looked at Zayn's painting. Zayn reached up and playfully swiped down Liam's nose, leaving a strip of blue in its place. "Hey," Liam said in mock offense, and Zayn laughed at his frown. He was surprised when Liam reached over to the palette and dipped his own finger in paint, before reaching up and purposefully leaving a stripe across Zayn's cheeks. "Hey, you're asking for it," Zayn said, putting his hands on either side of Liam's face, pulling him in for a kiss and leaving two messy hand prints on his cheeks.

Their kiss deepened, until Liam pulled away breathily. "You're getting paint on my shirt," he teased, rubbing his nose against Zayn's. "You could always take it off," Zayn suggested softly, meeting Liam's wide eyes with his own. "If you want," he added in a whisper, rubbing a messy thumb against Liam's cheek. Liam reached back to pull his t shirt off at the neck, blushing at the way Zayn's eyes trailed over his chest. Zayn pulled his already paint-splattered shirt off as well, hands shaking a little as he went. On impulse, he reached toward the palette again, dipping his hands in fresh paint before turning back towards Liam. He ran his hands slowly down Liam's chest and stomach, leaving trails of blue and grey over his smooth skin. Liam shuddered under his touch. "Its cold" he murmured quietly with a smile. And then they were kissing again, their chests pressed together, smearing the paint between them. Zayn's heart raced. They had kissed, sure, but not like this. It had only been a week, and they were both trying to take things slow, but this just felt so right. They continued kissing, messy hands tangling in each other's hair. Zayn's mouth trailed down Liam's neck, tasting a little bit of paint but mostly sweat and skin, and he sucked dark marks mercilessly onto Liam. Liam moaned a little, and Zayn could feel him hardening against Zayn's thigh. They rubbed together gently, eliciting more moans from Liam and causing Zayn to stifle a few of his own. Their hands continued to roam each other's bodies, and Liam's hands trailed lower, gripping Zayn's ass. Zayn looked back up at Liam, pressing their foreheads together. "Do you want to...?" he trailed off, nervous to bring it up but desperately hoping he knew what the answer would be. Liam nodded vigorously. "Do you have...?" Liam asked, and this time it was Zayn's turn to nod. "Okay," Liam said. "Okay," Zayn repeated, smiling. 

After a few moments of awkward fumbling with buttons, both boys shed their pants and then (blushingly, in Liam's case) their boxers. Zayn felt himself pressed beneath Liam, as they lay against each other on the studio floor. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam's back, letting out a soft moan as Liam pushed in slowly. And then they were moving against each other, Liam's mouth soft against Zayn's neck, Zayn's nails dull on Liam's back. Liam quickened the pace, and brought his hand down to touch Zayn. Liam's breath was becoming ragged, and Zayn relished the way Liam said his name breathily. Zayn held Liam close in the final moments, soft sighs escaping his lips. And then they were murmuring each other's names, hands and lips softly caressing. Liam rolled off of Zayn to lie next to him, both boys on their backs but heads turned towards each other. They were both streaked with paint, grey and blue and green splattered across their bare bodies. Liam reached down and took Zayn's hand in his own, bringing it to his lips to kiss it softly. The gesture struck Zayn as so sweet, and kind of intimate, and just so wonderfully Liam. They gazed at each other, and Zayn was completely lost in Liam's brown eyes. Liam's broad chest was still rising and falling swiftly, and he was looking at Zayn like maybe he was lost in his eyes too. Zayn looked down at their paint covered bodies, lying together on the floor, and thought that maybe this was the best work of art he'd ever made.


	6. Chapter 6

Liam watched as Zayn wiped the paint off himself, his tight muscles moving as he ran a wet rag over his arms and chest. He caught Zayn’s eye and both boys smiled shyly, still naked in the empty studio. Zayn handed another clean rag over to Liam to clean himself up as well. “Sorry about all the paint,” Zayn said with a smile, “It’s not toxic or anything, I promise.” Liam laughed, dismissing Zayn’s apology, “I really don't mind, I promise.” Their eyes met again and both boys giggled. Zayn looked adorable with paint in his hair, making it stand up in the black, shocks of blue against dark black. Zayn was sort of beautiful, even now, covered in drying and cracking paint. Liam had been surprised by what happened, he definitely hadn’t planned on sleeping with Zayn so soon. But it had been sort of....perfect. He thought of the way their bodies had fit together so perfectly, the way Zayn’s brown skin looked so incredible against Liam’s own pale body. The memory sent a shiver down his spine, an involuntary smile on his face. Liam heard his phone buzz, frowning as he picked it up and realized he had missed several calls from his father. He was calling back again, and Liam hurriedly slipped on his boxers and motioned to Zayn that he would be just outside the door. 

“Hello,” Liam said, slipping out of the studio and shutting the door softly behind him. “Liam, where the hell have you been?” His father sounded angrily, and Liam steeled himself for the verbal barrage that was sure to come. “I was busy, working on a project for school. I’m sorry,” Liam answered, unsure of what his father was so upset about. “Too busy to attend this quarter’s assessment meeting?” his voice sounded sharp, and Liam’s stomach dropped. That had been today, hadn’t it? About a year ago, his father had announced that Liam would from then on be attending all major meetings at the paper, so he could get used to the way things were run at the company. Liam hated the boring meetings, but dutifully showed up in suit and tie about once a month. He tried not to look too much like he wanted to kill himself as chart after chart was projected onto the screen, and angry voiced droned on about facts and figures. “I’m sorry, I forgot that was today,” he apologized, knowing it wouldn’t be enough. “I was working on this project for my art class -” but he was cut off. “When the fuck are you going to start taking this seriously Liam?” his father said, raising his voice. “I’m getting ready to hand my company over to you, one that I built from the ground, and you can’t even remember to show up for a simple meeting. Maybe you should spend less time fucking around with art and more time trying to become an employee that’s even remotely competent, let alone a son I can be proud of.” His father finished angrily, and Liam’s eyes stung at the harsh words. He was used to dealing with blow ups like this from his father, but it didn’t get any easier. “I’m sorry,” he apologized once again, but his father hung up with a sharp farewell before Liam had a chance to say anything else. 

He ran a hand through his hair and walked back into the studio softly, not meeting Zayn’s eye. “Hey so I was thinking, do you wanna grab dinner or -” Zayn asked, pausing when he saw Liam’s demeanor. “Whoa, what’s wrong?” he said, coming over to Liam. Liam sighed and sank down into a folding chair. “Nothing, I just had a particularly unpleasant conversation with my dad,” he said. “About what?” Zayn asked softly, running a hand along Liam’s cheek. Liam leaned into the touch, glad for the small comfort. “I missed an important meeting he wanted me to be at, and he kind of blew a fuse. It’s fine, nothing that hasn’t happened before.” Zayn leaned down to wrap his arms around Liam from behind, placing soft kisses against his neck. “I’m sorry babe,” he whispered softly. “I’m just never good enough for him, no matter how many stupid meetings I go to, or figures I have memorized...” Liam trailed off sadly. And then Zayn shifted, crouching next to his chair and looking up at Liam with soft eyes. He looked as if he wanted to say something. “Liam, are you sure...I mean, are you sure that’s what you want to do with your life?” Zayn asked tentatively, a gentle hand placed on Liam’s thigh. “What do you mean?” Liam asked, puzzled. “I mean, business.” Zayn continued, “Working for your father. It doesn’t make you happy. I mean you should have seen yourself today Liam, working with Niall, I’ve never seen you look that happy or confident working on the newspaper, going over quarterly profits.” Liam took a deep breath. It wasn’t as if Zayn was saying things he hadn’t thought before, but it was complicated. He shook his head, “You don’t understand, this is...everything. Its been the plan since....and my father --” “Forget about your father,” Zayn said, “You deserve to be happy,” his hand gentle on Liam’s skin, his eyes soft and pleading. “Its not that simple,” Liam snapped, sharper than intended. “You don’t know anything about it. This is something I have to do." He rose off of his chair as he continued. "We don’t all get to be artists or writers of whatever, some of us have to get real jobs. And you don’t know anything about my father.” He had gone too far, he knew, but he was fuming and he couldn’t stop now. “And you don’t know anything about what makes me happy.” He finished, sharply. Zayn looked wounded. “I guess I thought I did,” Zayn said softly, not looking up to meet Liam’s eyes. Liam grabbed his clothes, pulling them on hastily, and left. He was still covered in paint, he probably looked insane, but he didn’t care. He already wished he could take back his words. He knew the anger running through his veins wasn’t about Zayn. But Zayn had been there, and he had been the on the receiving end of something Liam had been bottling up for a long time. 

Liam walked home buzzing, shaking with anger at his father and regret that he had yelled at Zayn, and fear that he had really ruined things this time. When he got to his apartment, it only took one look at Liam, covered in paint and trembling all over, for Louis to realize something was very wrong. “What the hell happened?” Louis asked. Liam was barely holding it together, and Louis question was all it took for him to fall apart. Louis came over and Liam crumpled into his arms, crying. “My dad....he was being an asshole....and then I yelled at Zayn...and now he probably hates me....but Zayn was right.” Liam knew he probably wasn’t making sense, stuttering out parts of his story through broken sobs. Louis dragged him over to the couch, rubbing Liam’s back soothingly. Louis was no stranger to Liam’s father and his anger, but he hadn’t seen it like this before. “So your dad called, and got mad at you?” He asked, trying to piece together Liam’s story, filling in the gaps. Liam nodded, still crying against Louis’ shoulder. “And then, you got mad at Zayn?” he asked, puzzled. Liam raised his head a litte, and nodded with bleary eyes. “He was just trying to help, he asked me why I’m going into business with my dad when it doesn’t make me happy. And I was upset and I took it out on him," Liam explained sadly. “Ahh,” Louis said, understanding. “Does he know about your mom?” Louis asked softly, not taking his hands off Liam’s back. Liam paused, taking a deep and shaky breath. “No,” he said softly, remembering that night years ago. 

Liam’s parents had been out, attending a party celebrating the paper’s success. Liam was at his grandmother’s when the call came. His parents had been in a wreck. His father was in the hospital with a broken leg and a concussion. His mother hadn’t made it. He remembered his little 8 year old self, crying as his grandma hugged him. A few days later his father had come to pick him up. They hadn’t hugged, he hadn’t spoken, just collected Liam and driven him back to their house that suddenly felt so much emptier than before. After her death, Liam’s father withdrew, investing himself in his newspaper like never before. And he ignored Liam completely. He remembered the way his father wouldn’t meet his eyes at the breakfast table, wouldn’t come to his little league games anymore. He wondered what he had done wrong, to make his father hate him so much. And then one day he had brought Liam into his office. He explained to Liam that one day, he would run the paper. Since then, that was all their relationship was about. Business. As he grew up, he realized it was about his mother, that it wasn’t anything Liam did. He knew that, somewhere. And yet, he always felt a little bit like that little boy who’s father wouldn’t even look at him. Like he lost both of his parents that night. 

Louis sighed, brining Liam back to the moment. “I think you should tell him, love.” Louis said softly, running his hands through Liam’s hair as Liam laid his head in Louis’ lap. “I think he would understand, why you reacted the way you did.” Louis knew that Liam barely told anyone about his father, about their strained relationship and the history behind it. “And...” Louis paused hesitantly, “maybe Zayn has a point. I know you don’t want to let your father down, but you matter too, Liam.” Liam sighed, processing Louis’ words. “Liam,” Louis asked after a long moment. “Yeah?” Liam asked, looking up at him. “Why on earth are you covered in paint?” Liam had forgotten, groaning as he looked down at his paint splattered arms. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.” Louis said knowingly, and Liam quickly fell asleep in his lap. 

Liam hid like a coward for the next week. He didn’t call Zayn, and there were no calls from him to miss. Liam wondered why he kept fucking things up with a guy who was sort of perfect and for some inexplicable reason had wanted Liam. But he did fuck things up, and now he felt like they were permanently broken. He ached for Zayn, but he was terrified that he had ruined it for good. The only good thing about his week was that he finally convinced Louis to call Harry. It had been a frustrating conversation. “Why the hell would he like me?” Louis had asked, the real reason for his hesitance coming out. “Have you seen him? He can fuck whoever he wants, and he probably does. I was just a drunken shag.” Liam had shaken his head. “He wants you to call, I know it for a fact.” Finally, after about an hour of convincing, he had made the call. It made Liam happy (well, happier, considering) to see Louis happy. Since then, he and Harry had been practically inseparable, giggling on the couch watching movies and eating takeout, and Harry had spent more than a few nights here. Liam felt awkward around Harry, knowing Zayn had probably told him what had transpired. But Harry was always friendly, greeting him warmly even though Liam was almost always mopey and stoic in return. He was glad Louis and Harry hit it off, but he wished he didn’t have to have Zayn’s best friend around all the time.

One night, Liam had been taking a nap on the couch, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets with reruns of some reality show playing in the background. He awoke groggily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He could hear tense whispers coming from the kitchen, and soon Louis came in with two cups of tea. Liam took one suspiciously, curling up into a more seated position. Louis sat next to him, a knowing look in his eye, and Liam knew what was coming next. “You need to go talk to him.” Louis said sternly. “He’s probably mad at me. I...I was pretty harsh,” Liam said, ducking his head. “Liam, I know its scary. But trust me when I say that with Zayn, you looked happier than I have seen you in a long time, maybe ever. And this past week...you’re scaring me mate.” Louis said, resting a gently hand on Liam’s knee. “Maybe you fucked up, but you can’t give up on this. He’ll understand, I know he will.” Louis said, and Harry appeared in the doorway, giving a nod of agreement. Liam wondered what it was lately with everyone telling him he looked happy. Happy with Zayn, happy helping Niall. Maybe it meant something. He knew Louis was right. His mind drifted back to the image of Zayn when Liam had yelled, looking small and wounded. Liam felt like a monster, taking out his anger on the one person who was on his side. He couldn’t get the image of Zayn’s sad eyes out of his head. But alongside that were images of he and Zayn, bodies intertwined in the studio, soft and intimate and exciting. Of Zayn, caressing him gently, sketching and painting, whispering into Liam’s ear, smoking into Liam’s mouth. His heart ached. He didn’t want to lose that. 

‘Its the middle of the night,” Liam offered, as one last, lame excuse. “Liam. Go.” Louis said. Liam nodded, and Harry gave him a thumbs up encouragingly. Liam showered for the first time in days, his hands shaking as he washed under the hot water. This felt all too familiar, and Liam wondered how many times he was going to have to show up at Zayn’s and apologize for being a complete asshole. He would do it a million times if it meant Zayn taking him back tonight. He threw on a t shirt and jeans, not caring what he looked like. With a few more words of encouragement from Louis and Harry, Liam was out the door. He drove hastily, terrified of losing his nerve and turning around. The streets were mostly empty, late as it was. He checked the clock, shaking his head at the insanity of this when he realized it was 3 in the morning. But he had to do it. He parked the car in front of a fire hydrant, not bothering to correct his mistake, and walked up to the building. When he reached the stairs his pace slowed, torn between wanting to see Zayn and wanting to turn and run. But he steeled himself, and he soon stood facing Zayn’s door. After a few short breaths, he knocked. 

 

Zayn hadn’t been sleeping well, so he was exhausted and pissed when he heard someone banging on the door. He hobbled out of bed groggily, assuming it was Harry, who frequently lost his keys and returned at all hours. He stumbled through the moonlit apartment, grimacing when his eyes fell on the kitchen clock. He promised himself to kill Harry in the morning, and opened the door sleepily. Expecting Harry, he was unprepared for the sight he was met with. Liam looked like a wreck. His shirt was inside out, and Zayn was pretty sure the bags under Liam’s eyes were almost as big as the ones Zayn was sporting himself. Zayn stood there, still half asleep, trying to process the fact that Liam was really here. “Liam,” he croaked out, unsure of what else to say. Liam looked at him, and Zayn had a feeling he was just as at a loss for words. He sighed, standing aside and letting Liam enter the apartment. Liam walked in, and Zayn shut the door behind him. The silence of the apartment was heavy, and the darkness made it feel close and unreal. They both stood facing each other, neither saying anything. 

Zayn waited for Liam to speak, but he remained silent, not wanting to meet Zayn’s eye. “So did you wake me up at fucking 3 am to stand here in my kitchen, or what?” Zayn said, grumpy from exhaustion and still hurting from Liam's harsh words a week ago. Liam opened his mouth to speak but instead a strangled sob escaped his chest. And then his frame was shaking, confusing Zayn. “Are you...Jesus, Liam are you crying?” he asked, taken aback. Another sob from Liam confirmed this, and Zayn felt his facade of apathy crumble. He went to Liam, ushering him over to the couch. “Alright, just come sit down ok?” He said, wincing to himself when Liam immediately curled into him on the couch, hot tears on his neck. It’s not like Zayn hadn’t cried over Liam -- he had, spending nights with a soaked pillow, and staining Harry’s shirts with his tears. Harry had told him Liam wasn’t doing much better from what he saw at Louis', but Zayn hadn’t believed him. Harry hadn’t seen the way Liam looked at him when he was angry, convincing Zayn that Liam didn’t care. But maybe he had been wrong, because Liam was going to pieces in Zayn’s arms and Zayn had no clue what to do about it. Shouldn’t Liam be the one comforting him? And yet, Liam was cuddled against him on the couch, and Zayn couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around him, rubbing his back softly as he shook. 

Liam finally spoke after a few moments, his breath hitching every few seconds. “I’m sorry, God I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and his hand clutched at Zayn’s t shirt. “There’s something I have to tell you,” Liam said, sitting up a little and wiping at his eyes. “And it doesn’t excuse what I did...or what I said, at all,” Zayn saw Liam wince at the thought, “but it’s something you should know,” he finished. “Okay, tell me,” Zayn said, puzzled, wondering what on earth this could be about. Liam was trembling in the dark, worrying Zayn. “Liam, come on, you can tell me anything, yeah?” Zayn wondered again why he was the one reassuring Liam here, but he was frightened by the was he was acting. Liam took a deep breath. “My mum died when I was 8,” he said in a hoarse whisper. Zayn felt himself take in a sharp breath. He had had no idea. He felt like he should say something, but Liam looked like he wanted to continue, so Zayn just nodded, keeping a gentle hand on Liam’s back. “It, um. It was really hard on my dad,” Liam continued, fiddling with his hands. “It kind of broke our relationship, I guess. He didn’t really talk to me for...months,” he said, and Zayn could hear his voice breaking. “And when he finally did, it was only ever about how he wanted me to take over the newspaper. Its all he has left,” he said, “and its the only reason he’s paid attention to me since then,” he finished in a whisper, and Zayn knew he was holding back more tears. “Li,” Zayn said, pulling Liam to his chest. Liam broke down again, but this time Zayn held him tighter, and Liam leaned eagerly into his embrace. 

“Li, I don’t even know what to say,” Zayn said, his voice soft. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t...if I had known,” he trailed off, weakly. He felt incredibly guilty, for trying to tell Liam about something he didn’t understand, for forcing himself to stay mad at Liam all week after their fight. “No,” Liam said, shaking his head, “It wasn’t your fault, I should have told you, I shouldn’t have...” but Zayn leaned in before he can finish, cutting him off with a kiss. Zayn didn’t know if the moment was right, but he knew he wanted to be kissing Liam. After a week of crying and sadness and feeling like a part of himself he had only just discovered had been taken away, Zayn wanted the reassuring touch of Liam’s lips. And from the way Liam was kissing him back, Zayn thought maybe Liam wanted that too. He felt Liam calm beneath him as they kissed, the hitches in his breath settling, the shaking in his limbs slowing as their tongues intertwined. Liam stuttered out more apologies as they make their way to the bedroom, but Zayn didn't let his lips go for long enough to finish any. They fell together onto Zayn’s bed, and Zayn thought that he kind of loved the way their bodies fit together. 

They made love under the glow of Zayn’s christmas lights, warm and tender, writing forgiveness into each other skin with their hands and mouths. They clung to each other, making up for lost time. And afterwords, they whispered to each other quietly, murmuring against each others skin as they lay entwined. Liam told Zayn about his mother, soft memories he’s clung to of birthday cakes and lipstick and bedtime stories. And he talked about his father, a proud man who didn’t know how to talk to his son when they both lost the most important thing in the world to them. Zayn stroked his hair as he spoke, kissing tears away with soft lips, until they both slipped slowly into sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Zayn woke up the next morning with Liam's sleeping form beside him. He was warm and close, his forhead practically touching Zayn's, his arms twisted around Zayn's black sheets. He was still sleeping soundly, and Zayn couldn't take his eyes off of him. Zayn thought about last night, about the way he thought he knew Liam. And then he showed up at Zayn's door in the middle of the night, falling apart, and Zayn found out he hadn't really known much about him at all. But he liked what he had so far, and he was willing to take his chances on the rest. He had an idea, and climbed out of bed carefully, trying not to disrupt Liam. He hunted around he floor for his boxers, finally finding them under a pile of Liam's clothes and pulling them on. He grabbed his sketchbook and charcoal off the desk and pulled his chair so he was facing the bed. It occurred to him as he took a seat that it might weird Liam out for Zayn to be drawing him while he slept, and his hand hesitated above the paper. Fuck it, he thought, and decided to just do it anyway. He knew Liam liked his drawings, and it wasn't like he hadn't been the subject of them before. Zayn worked quietly, trying to catch the peace of Liam's sleep, the curve of his muscles tangled in the sheets. He didn't leave out the bags under his eyes, and it came to him again how truly exhausted Liam looked, and Zayn knew it ran deeper than just their late night last night. He looked truly tired, down to his bones, and Zayn kicked himself for not noticing before. 

Zayn's mind drifted to what Liam had revealed last night, the truth about his strained relationship with his father, about the loss of his mother. He pictured Liam as a child, trapped in a suddenly empty house, surrounded by memories of his mother and scarred by the coldness of his father. Zayn trembled, and returned to his drawing. Liam slept through the portrait, and Zayn looked down on it satisfied. It wasn't his most elaborate or impressive piece, but it was Liam. And that was always enough for Zayn. He set the drawing down on the chair and left the room quietly, padding into the kitchen on bare feet. He was in the mood for a big breakfast, and he would bet that Liam would wake up hungry as well after last night. He checked the fridge for eggs and started scrambling them, smiling to himself at thoughts of Liam as he cooked. He was distracted, hunting through the fridge for bacon, and was surprised when he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist. "Good morning," Liam rumbled low in his ear, trailing small kisses down Zayn's neck intimately. "I found this," Liam said, and Zayn noticed he had Zayn's sketch of him in his hand. "Oh," Zayn said, blushing as he turned to face Liam, worried again that he would be weirded out by it. "You drew me while I was sleeping?" Liam asked, continuing to kiss Zayn's neck and throat. "I...yeah," Zayn answered, flustered by Liam's mouth on his skin. Liam stopped and looked up at Zayn, his eyes incredibly soft. "That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me," he said softly, blushing a little. Zayn sighed, relieved that Liam liked it. "I couldn't help it, you just looked too amazing," Zayn said, pulling Liam in for another kiss. They stood kissing in the kitchen for a few moments, before Zayn remembered the bacon and hurriedly pulled away to take it off the stove before it burned. "So is this part of our project," Liam asked as Zayn put the food onto two plates. "Oh, no, I mean, its kind of..intimiate isn't it?" Zayn answered. He carried the eggs and bacon to the table where Liam was sitting, but instead of sitting next to him he sat on Liam's lap. Liam shrugged. "Whatever you want, but its a great picture," he said, pulling Zayn in for a kiss. 

They ate breakfast that way, Zayn sitting on Liam's lap, like they couldn't stand being separated even a little bit. "No sign of Harry yet?" Liam asked halfway through their eggs and bacon. "He must still be at my place," he continued, shaking his head with a smile. "Those two are ridiculous," Zayn said with a laugh, "I can't believe how long it took them to get together." Liam agreed, laughing. "Well, I guess it took us a while too, didn't it," Liam said, taking Zayn's hand in his and bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. "Yeah, I guess so," Zayn said, smiling fondly at Liam. They took a quick shower, and then spent the rest of the day together. They had decided that they both just needed some time away from things, some time to be together. Zayn dragged Liam to his favorite used bookstore, and the two browsed the dusty stacks together. Liam showed Zayn a park where he used to play with his mom, and Zayn couldn't help sneaking glances at Liam as they walked through it. His eyes were shining with memories, happy or sad Zayn didn't know, but he gave Liam's hand an extra squeeze just to remind him that he was there. "Zayn," Li said as they sat on a bench. Liam's tone was soft, and his eyes were vulnerable when they met Zayn's. "Yeah?" Zayn asked, curious. "So I know I've already fucked this up more than once, and I can't promise that I won't again," he said, and Zayn smiled, urging Liam to continue. "But I, just, I really like you. So I guess what I'm wondering is...Are we going to do this?" he let the last few words out in a rush. "This?" Zayn asked puzzled. "LIke, dating," Liam said quietly, blushing. "Liam Payne, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?" Zayn asked teasingly, bumping his shoulder into Liam's. Liam's blush deepened, but he smiled at Zayn. "Because if you are, my answer is yes," Zayn said, gazing into Liam's brown eyes. Liam's face lit up, and Zayn leaned in for a kiss. "Okay," Liam mumbled against Zayn's lips. "Okay," Zayn agreed, smiling as they kissed. 

A week later they were lying in bed, curled up together in the morning sun on Liam's bed, both unwilling to move from their places wrapped around each other. Liam was playing with Zayn's hand when he suddenly said softly, "I think you were right, Zee." Zayn lifted his head to look at his boyfriend, "About what?" he asked. Liam sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I think I'm going to change my major," he said nervously. Zayn knew this was a big decision for Liam, linked to his complicated relationship with his father. After their fight he hadn't wanted to push Liam, had wanted him to make the decision on his own, but he was relieved to hear that he was changing it. "To what?" he asked, playing with Liam's hair absentmindedly. "I've been thinking..oh, teaching maybe?" Liam said hesitantly. "I think you would make a wonderful teacher," Zayn said, cupping Liam's cheek with his hand. "Really?" Liam asked, looking up at Zayn. "Really," Zayn nodded, stroking Liam's face softly. 

Zayn went with Liam to talk to his father, rubbing his hand soothingly on the way there. "Relax, Li," he said encouragingly. "You can do it, and I'll be right outside the whole time." He didn't want to tell him it would be okay, because he honestly didn't know if it would. But he would be there for Liam either way, there to pick up the pieces if his father broke him again. When they arrived, Zayn waited nervously outside the office, the glass walls providing him a view of the interaction even though he couldn't hear. He felt bad spying, but he was worried about Liam. He saw Liam hesitantly approach his father, who was busy leaning over his desk, hastily scrawling something on paper. After a few words from Liam, his father looked up. First he looked disbelieving, then angry, and began to shout at Liam. Zayn cringed, watching Liam wince at his father's anger. But after a few moments, Liam began to speak again, and Zayn saw tears begin to run down his face. Liam continued for a while, his tears escalating as he spoke. Zayn saw Liam's father sit, his head in his hands. He looked cowed and upset. Zayn didn't know what Liam was saying, but he was shocked when, moments, later, his father stood again and went to hug Liam tentatively. Liam leaned into his father's embrace, still crying. Zayn averted his eyes then, knowing he was witnessing an important moment between father and son, proud of Liam for speaking his mind after all these years. Liam emerged about ten minutes later, face red from crying but looking like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He reached a hand out for Zayn, and gave his father a small wave through the glass as the two left. Zayn saw Liam's dad wave back, looking like he had shed a few tears as well. Liam was quiet as they left, and Zayn wanted to give him his space. But when they got in the car, Liam turned to Zayn happily. He leaned in, taking Zayn's face in his hands, and kissed him softly. "Thank you," he whispered against Zayn's lips. "For what?" Zayn asked, pulling away from the kiss. "For giving me the courage to do that," Liam answered. Zayn was going to protest that really it had been all Liam, but Liam didn't give him a chance, pulling him in for another deep kiss. 

Since they had planned to do the final drawing for their project with Liam in a business setting, they had to come up with a new plan. They were discussing it at Zayn's apartment, about to go meet Harry and Louis for drinks, when Liam disappeared into Zayn's room. He returned a few moments later with a sketch in his hand. "I think we should use this," he said boldly, handing Zayn the sketch. It was the one he had done of Liam sleeping, the night that they made up. Zayn raised his eyebrows at Liam. "Are you sure?" he asked warily, unsure of whether or not Liam was comfortable with turning in such an intimate drawing for their project. Liam nodded. "It's a great drawing, and we don't really have anything else," he said with a laugh. "Plus," Liam continued, "Professor Williams will probably be happy that we took the whole 'get to know each other' part seriously," he said, nudging Zayn playfully. Zayn considered for a moment. "Okay," he finally agreed, and Liam beamed. "Now lets go meet those two idiots," he said, standing up and pulling Liam off the couch with a smile. 

"I must say, boys, I loved your project!" Professor Williams gushed, and Liam and Zayn beamed at each other. "The drawings were splendid," he said, making Zayn blush, "and I'm glad to hear you two -ahem- formed a real bond working on this project!" he continued, which made Liam blush as well. "I am delighted to give you both full marks on the project!' he finished, before bidding them both a fond farewell and praising Zayn once again for his outstanding talent. Both boys were smiling as they left, their hands intertwined between them as they walked. "I have something I want to show you, yeah?" Zayn said as they left the building, and Liam nodded. They walked for a few minutes, and Liam was surprised when he realized Zayn was leading him to the art studio. "What are we...?" Liam started to ask, but Zayn cut him off. "Just come," he said, pulling Liam by the hand into the studio. Liam blushed as they entered the room, remembering the last time they were here. "Close your eyes," Zayn said, and Liam obeyed, letting Zayn lead him into the room. He heard Zayn shuffling a few things around as he waited, eyes closed obediently. "Alright, now...look." Zayn said, and Liam opened his eyes. In front of him stood a painting, and Liam quickly recognized it as the Starry Night painting Zayn had been working on last time they were here. It was beautiful. The colors blended together, making the already whimsical original painting into something even more abstract. He could see where Zayn's hands had painted the sky, gentle strokes blending colors together. And the lights were even more beautiful. Swirls of yellow and orange breaking through the dark blue and grey of the rest of the painting. The colors brought back memorie of their night together, of blue and grey smeared across their bodies turning them both into works of art as they made love. 'Its...incredible," he said softly, unable to take his eyes off it. "It reminds me of you," Zayn said softly, and Liam pulled his eyes away from the painting to look at Zayn. "The whole time I was painting it, I couldn't stop thinking about you, about us, here," he said, taking Liam's hand and kissing it. "It's one of my favorites too," Zayn continued, "I guess you inspire me or something," he finished with a shy smile. "I love you," Liam blurted out, embarrassed as soon as he said it. He panicked for a brief second as Zayns eyes widened and then softened. "I love you too, Li," he said, pulling him in for a gentle kiss.


End file.
